Dear Carter

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Carter POV

I stared off into the distance, thinking about how different my life is from Olivia's. She's all I've been thinking about, all I've cared about. Reading her diary is like opening up her soul. All those words she's never said to anyone, all the pain and all the hatred nobody knows of, except me.
She's perfect, I don't know what she looks like or sounds like but I know she's perfect. I don't have to know what she looks like, because all that matters is her personality. All that matters is that I'm falling in love with her, and I've never met her. Is this what it feels like to be a fan? If it is then now I finally understand why they cry over us, why they care so much. They don't have to meet us, they already know us. Just like I already know Olivia. I don't care who says it isn't love, because I know it is. I have to find her, and I have to rescue her, I have to be the hero all these girls want me to be; I have to be the hero Olivia needs. She needs me, and I have to be there for her.

"Carter, man what are you doing?" Matt asked, breaking me from my thoughts. I heaved a sigh and ran a hand threw my hair.

"I have to find her Matt, I have to." I looked up at him, and he nodded.

"We all want to find her, Carter, but you can't keep beating yourself up for this." He replied, giving me a look. I shook my head.

"You don't understand- she wrote to me! To me Matt, not you or the other boys but to me. I-I could have been there for her through all of this. I could have done something to stop her pain long ago. But I didn't find the book, I didn't find the book. And now it might be to late, She could be -she could be dead.." I whispered, feeling a tear run down my cheek. "She could be dead." Hearing those words come out of my mouth felt like someone ripped the inside of me completely apart. I sobbed into my hands and he hugged me.

"We're going to find her man, she's going to be okay she has to be, she's strong. She can do this." But it didn't sound like he was only reassuring me, but himself as well.