♡ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ꜱᴀʏ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ♡

3 7

(Johnny's POV)

I pulled the covers over my shoulders and curled into a ball. Soda's old bed was comfy, a lot more comfy than the hard lot ground, but I still found myself unable to sleep.

I was tired — there was no denying that, but for the past thirty minutes I couldn't get myself to fall asleep. I listened to the guys laughing downstairs, hearing Two-Bit crack a dumb joke every once in a while.

I wanted to go downstairs, but the warmth of the bed kept me in the confines of the bedroom. Well, that and anxiety.

As the date for homecoming got closer and closer, I grew more and more nervous each day. This could ruin us. Nobody really considered being in a relationship with Cary for the longest time, mostly because she was Darry and Soda's kid sister, but also because we all saw her as our own sister. I don't know what changed that made some switch flip in my mind, making my thoughts about her go haywire, but I knew by that point it was already too late to shut them off. We were already in too deep. The only way we could go was forward, whether I liked it or not.

The guys' laughter died down a bit, and from the quiet I heard Cary's soft voice. I couldn't decipher most of what she was saying until I heard my name: "Where's Johnny?"

I jolted, as if surprised, yet found momentary comfort in the fact that she wanted to know where I was. It meant she cared about me, even when I wasn't right there. I don't know how she did it without making it obvious enough to give us away. Maybe it's just her caring nature.

I rolled on my back, staring at the white, shadow-cast ceiling above me and smiled stupidly. Golly, that girl was making me crazy without even trying. I'd always wanted someone to care for me like she did, but I never expected it to be her. Not like this.

It was maybe ten minutes before I heard a knock on the door to which I scrambled to put my shirt back on before saying, "Come in!"

The door opened slowly, and I saw Cary's delicate silhouette standing in the threshold sheepishly. "I didn't wake you up, did I?"

"No, no," I responded, sitting up in the bed, "how'd you sleep?"

She made her way into the room and came to the side of the bed. "Like a baby. You?"

"Fine, I guess," I lied.

She sat down on the bed next to me, and the light from the hallway shone on her face, revealing a slight smile. "I missed you."

I smiled. "You saw me two hours ago."

"No, I mean when I was at the hospital." She turned to face me. "I really am sorry, Johnny. I really do want to go to homecoming with you. I promise."

"I understand, Cary," I smiled at her, though I knew she probably couldn't see me through the darkness. "Really, it's okay."

Even though I said this, I still saw a glint of sadness in her eyes. I opened my arms as an invitation, and she took it with little hesitation. She leaned into my arms and I held her tight, and I felt her arms wrap around me. She fit perfectly in my arms, like a glove. It felt comfortable. It felt right.

But she had reminded me of a question I had been dying to ask for ages. When I spoke, my tone was hushed. "When are we going to tell them?"

She looked up at me, her bright teal eyes making me calm for just a split second. She thought about it for a minute, and then I knew she understood what I meant. She had been thinking about it, too. I was glad I wasn't the only one.

She chewed on the inside of her cheek before answering, her tone matching mine. "When it's the right time."

"Well, when is that?"

She shrugged. "You'll know when it comes. It always works out like that."

Easier said than done. I thought as she placed her head on my chest, snuggling into me. My heart started beating incredibly fast, and I hoped she wouldn't hear it. But I kept my arms around her, holding her tight. I leaned my head on hers, never wanting that moment to end. I found myself stroking her long braid. "Why do you put your hair up?" I asked. "You look great just the way it is."

I was astonished with myself: just a week ago, I would've felt weird saying something like that, but now it was comfortable.

She sighed quietly and picked her head up from my chest, her bright teal eyes meeting mine. "I can take it out if you like."

"I'll do it," I offered as I untied the ribbon around the end of her hair. Gently, I loosened the braid and watched her hair fall around her shoulders. I put my arms around her again and ran my fingers through it. "There."

I felt myself blushing as if I was embarrassed, but I wasn't. Maybe it was the way she was gazing into my eyes and curling her perfect lips into a smile.

"You're too cute." She said quietly, moving her hands from around my waist to my shoulders and delicately pressing her lips to my cheek, only making me blush even harder. She smiled again to this and cupped my cheek in her hand, rubbing circles into it with her thumb. "We should go downstairs," she sighed quietly, "before the guys get worried."

She sat up and out of my arms, the air around me instantly feeling a bit cooler as she left. I sat in the bed, trying to process what happened for a few seconds before I got out of the bed and followed her downstairs, my cheek tingling. 

Downstairs, I was met with smart remarks from the guys about my long 'nap' before we all settled down. I took a seat on the floor next to Cary and Ponyboy, pulling my knees to my chest as I watched Darry pull out a deck of cards from the drawer of the side table.

We played poker for the rest of the night, though we didn't have any chips or nothing because Two-Bit left them at home and Dal wasn't there.

After a little bit, Two-Bit stood up, slapped us all on the backs, and left the house, letting the screen door slam behind him.

After a bit of small talk, one by one, all of them went to bed. First Darry, then Soda, then Ponyboy, until it was just me and Cary in the living room alone.

After Pony's footsteps dissipated into his bedroom, she turned to me. "Tomorrow." She said, a hopeful yet slightly scared look in her eyes. "We'll tell them tomorrow."

I nodded, but didn't feel the anxiety ease up any. With that, she again gave me a kiss on the cheek, leaving with a small smile before telling me good night and retreating to her own bedroom.

Tomorrow, I thought. Was I ready?

I guessed that I would have to be. 

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