It's Only Us in the World

You Make Me Turn a Certain Hue

We blazed through the reception hall, and though visiting hours were probably far from open, everyone seemed to know Emu like the back of their hand. She probably visited often.

"He's great! I'm sure you'll come to love his company," she rambled. I wasn't afraid to peek into the hospital rooms anymore because each and every person had a story and each and every person deserved my sympathy, fake or not. It can change a lifetime.

"I'm excited to meet someone like him."

"Good!"

As excited as I said I was, I couldn't help but fend off the boiling anxiety cooking in my guts. I watched her push the door to a dark hospital room open, beckoning me in with open arms while I was praying I'd make it out without saying anything stupid. But then I remembered that Emu wouldn't care and we'd laugh about it all the next day.

"Emu? Is that you? Oho, what are you doing here so late?"

His elderly voice rang throughout the room. It was grand and warm.

"Hi Grandpa! It's a long story but I brought along a friend. Meet Asahina Mafuyu."

"Ah, hello Asahina. You have a beautiful name, dear." Emu pulled up two chairs for us to sit at his side.

"Hello," I said. "Just call me Mafuyu. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Oho, no need to be so polite, dear. You seem like a lovely girl, Miss Mafuyu." You didn't need a face to tell he was smiling through his words. "Did you come here to ask me something?"

"Sorry, I kind of forced her to come along with me," Emu yawned drearily.

"No you didn't," I assured.

"Shush. I'm asking Miss Mafuyu, not you."

"Oops," she laughed through tired eyes.

Ears were peeled to me and I was brimming with nervousness.

"No, I don't think so. But Emu says you're a wise man and I trust her with my heart so I think you could teach me a thing or two." I jumbled up my words. "Only if you're willing to though."

"Ahaha," he bellowed. His body may have been failing him but he had a heart of gold. "Of course. How could I decline after you confessed your undying faith to my granddaughter?"

I chuckled and she squeezed my hand.

"You two seem tired though. Get some rest."

"What about you, Pops?" Emu asked while leaning her head on my shoulder hesitantly. I didn't shake or stumble.

"Ah, I'm fine, dear. Don't worry about your Old Bones. Still alive and kicking."

"Don't jinx it!" Emu joked quietly. Half-joked because it wasn't hard to tell she was conscious of her words. I felt the weight on my shoulders grow heavier and heavier and the tickle of her hair scratched my neck.

"Is she knocked out already?"

"I think so," I responded carefully, as to not wake her.

"So, how'd you two meet?"

I never thought to share our story but his heart was so open that I couldn't help it.

"We met here, in this very hospital." I thought deliberately of every word to exit my lips. "She was upset and I kept her company and I guess we just grew from there."

"I see," he murmured. "She's actually spoken of you a few times before. My dear thinks highly of you."

"Really?"

"Mhm. She adores your patience and integrity, but has a hard time finding the right words to express her thanks." He leaned closer to me. "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but she was planning on repaying you before you guys stopped talking. She visited me a lot more often during that period. I'm glad you guys have found your way though."

"Yeah...me too. I don't know what I'd do without her either."

He smiled at me through the dark.

"I feel guilty sometimes," he admitted, sitting back in his bed. "I feel guilty for taking parts of her teenage life because of my illness. She should be out there, making friends and living her school days to the limit. I'm sorry she always has to worry about me."

"I understand what you mean." I sucked in sharply. "I'm afraid that I make her worry about me too much. I keep running but I'm too ashamed to tell her why and that makes me feel awful."

"Oho, but you aren't awful, dear. It's good that you recognize what you're doing wrong. You sound like a lovely girl who has a hard time knowing what she wants to do with all the love in the world."

"I...yeah. I want to make up for all the hurt I've done her because I love her. Even if I need space, it shouldn't come at the expense of her heart."

"You really care for her, huh?"

"I do."

I sensed him smile sadly.

"Then I left her in good hands." He took a long pause. "The doctors say I only have a month or two at most and I begged the nurses to keep it a secret from her. I don't want her to feel like she has to spend every last minute with me. She has a life to live and I can't keep holding her down. You'll fill the hole in her heart, right? Keep her smiling for me even after I'm gone?"

"...I- I don't know if I can."

"I know you can. You have a strong heart, Mafuyu. It'll hurt to see her cry, but the moments where she's happy are worth it. Don't tell her my time's almost up and let her appreciate the life I've built for her."

I wanted to tell her so bad. She doesn't deserve to be lied to, but he was right. She has a world to see and that world mustn't be anchored by fear.

"Okay. I'll do my best."

"Thank you," he said. He rested his eyes and fell into a light snooze, happy to leave the world with peace of mind. Even if he wasn't really asleep, it still felt so quiet and alone.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to the friend on my shoulder through the silence. She only responded through a light groan and I figured it was my time to escape reality too.

I leaned back in the chair and got myself comfortable while taking her hand into mine. I imagined Mom's harsh words once she discovers my escape. I imagined Dad's everlasting ignorance as I'm being stabbed by those words. I imagined my tears and apathy because I'm so used to it all. Then I imagined Emu swooping in and taking me into her warm embrace. I closed my eyes and hugged her back.

'You make me turn a certain hue,' I said to her in my dream. Her arms were wrapped around me, bound to me, forever.

'Yeah? What kind?'

I didn't stop to think.

'Pink.'

'Ooh. How pretty!'

I leaned in and pressed my lips to her forehead.

'Yeah. I guess it is kind of beautiful.' I paused to take a long, deep breath. 'Thank you.'

'Haha, for what?'

I just laughed.