It's Only Us in the World

Stop and Smell the Roses

I stepped out of the room for a moment to give Emu some time alone. I met eyes with Koriki who was just around the corner.

"Hi. Is she okay?" she asked.

"You want the easy answer or the truth?"

"...I'm sorry for your loss."

"It wasn't mine, it was hers."

I noticed she was nearly on the brink of tears and that me regret my cold words.

"Sorry, I don't mean to be so cruel," I apologized. "I just can't seem to think straight."

"It's no problem. I'll give you a moment to collect your thoughts."

She walked past me as if I was a poltergeist, see-through and empty. I kept walking down the vacant hallway until that walk turned to a run and that run turned to tears while racing down the unoccupied space. I ran and ran and ran without stopping. Even through sweat and tears, I did not stop running.

I found myself in a courtyard, mysteriously silent and tranquil. There was no longer a roof above my head and the air felt like a stranger to my own bare skin. I took a seat on a wet bench where I was suddenly greeted by Emu's grandfather. Then I knew it was a dream.

"Hi," I said reluctantly. "Do you need something from me?"

He chuckled and it felt so real.

"Oho, of course not," he gleamed. "Smell the roses, dear. They're positively wonderful."

I grazed a fresh rose, picking a petal off its flesh. "Why didn't you tell her?" I asked. The tears were coming back to me. The roses did smell wonderful. "Now I can't help but feel like it's all my fault."

"It's not," he said. "It's nobody's fault."

I twirled the petal through my fingers and dropped it onto the wet cement my feet dangled over.

"Life isn't supposed to last forever," he grinned while picking back up the petal and setting it in his lap. "That's why we live to make the most of it."

He paused and took a deep inhale.

"What do you want to do with your life, Mafuyu?"

I felt a single tear roll down my cheek.

"I want to be a doctor and the perfect daughter."

"No, that's not what you want. That's what your parents want. That's what everybody else wants. I'll ask you again, what do you want to do with your life, Mafuyu?"

What do I want? What do I want? I don't know. Why don't I know. I had a whole life and world ahead of me, but it wasn't one I chose. What do you want to do with your life, Mafuyu?

"I want to be someone special. I want to be someone that doesn't have to force a personality. I want to be someone that has her own desires and hobbies and opinions that are acknowledged and respected. I don't want to be a doctor, I want to be a nurse. I don't want to be the perfect daughter, I just want to be a kid." The roses suddenly smelled beautiful.

He had a wide smile and simply nodded as the words fell out of my mouth.

"That's truly beautiful."

"Thank you. For everything."

"Go save the world, Mafuyu. The world is yours."

I grinned and jumped to my feet, bidding him goodbye.

The world is mine.

The world is ours.

I awoke on a familiar bench in a familiar hospital courtyard and began running back. I took time to smell the roses though.

By the time I returned, Emu was already outside the room speaking with Koriki. She noticed me from a distance and raced into my arms.

"Hi. Are you feeling okay?" I asked, startled. She replied in messy tears.

"You guys can hang out in the lobby," said Koriki. "I'll let the family know. You two just get some rest."

"Thank you. You too."

"Wanna talk?" I whispered. Her head was lying numbly on my shoulder.

"No not really," she managed. They didn't come out as words, moreso ragged breaths. They were barely even sounds.

"Okay," I said. The room was so silent that it was nearly nostalgic. Today I'm going to die. And that's the funny part. I'm going to die and nobody knows. So today's going to be the best and worst day of my short-lived life.

I'm here for a hurt loved one, muttered my heart. I watched the rise and fall of my hurt loved one's chest as she bore the scalpal in her head ever so bravely. Triumphant she'd emerge, I was sure of it.

Before I knew it, she was asleep and the world was utterly noiseless.

I couldn't bring myself to find words, but before I knew it, I had already told her that she smelled like a field of roses.

Bittersweet.