It's Billy's Favorite

Chapter XI

| Warning: Chapter includes attempted child abuse, loss, addiction, verbal abuse, neglect, and death. For those sensitive to the topics listed above and wish to continue reading, please do so with caution. It is not my intention to trigger anyone in anyway which is why I make these warnings ahead of time. All love :)|

I stayed next to Jane's door for two days straight. My mother didn't come home until the second night. When she got home I woke up from the ground and looked at her. She was holding a bottle of empty whiskey, her mascara was dried onto her cheeks, her hair was messed up, her face bright red, and I still saw blood on her jeans.
"Where is Jane?" "Is Billy alright?" "Where the fuck is your sister Robert?" "Mom-." "Where is she!!!!?!?!"
My mom threw the bottle on the ground and screamed.
"Tell me where the fuck she is!!!" "Stop! You need to stop." "If you're protecting her I'll hurt you just as hard." "You're not doing anything to her." "You fucking little shit. I am your mother! Get out of my way!"
I walked up to her and looked her in the eyes.
"Get the fuck out of my way before I hurt you." "You need to leave her alone."
She took the ash tray off the table and hit me over the head with it. I fell onto the ground holding my head groaning. I saw her use her foot to break Jane's door down. But she wasn't there. I heard my mom tossing her stuff around and yelling.
"Where are you?!?!?!"
She threw her bed upside down and ran out to the hallway.
"Where is she?" "I don't know." "Bullshit. Where the fuck is she?" "I don't know." "You're lying!!!"
I stood up and shook my head. I made sure to stay away from her in case she had something else to beat me with.
"You don't understand Robert. She killed my son. She killed your brother, she killed her brother!!! Billy is dead because of her!!" "It's not her fault."
My mother began to break down and cry.
"Yes it is. It's all her fault she's irresponsible and I knew I couldn't trust her. I'm so sick of this. I don't want to see her anymore." "Well she's not here." "I can't be here. If I'm here, I might kill you Robert, and you're all I have left. I can't loose you."
My mother moved aside and walked out the door. She walked so slow as if her life source was draining. When she closed the front door I went into my room and saw Jane hiding under my bed.
"She's gone."
She didn't say anything to me but she crawled out from under the bed. She was still crying and she moved past me. She closed the bedroom door and locked it.
"Can I sleep here tonight?" She asked. "Yes of course."
  She crawled into my bed and I sat on the floor just to make sure my mom wouldn't come back. I knew I couldn't hide Jane forever, I knew Rose somehow was going to find her and deal with her. I was scared for my sister, she's only 8 and I'm worried my mother is going to kill her.

_______

   A month went by and my mother didn't come back home until the funeral. She set up the funeral and Jane came with me, but she hid in the back. She made sure to hide during the service even though she wanted to give her respect to Billy. I knew my mother saw her but she didn't do anything. My mother was too broken to care that my sister was hiding behind a wall. April drove us home, including Jane. Jane didn't want to get in the car but I insisted she should. She didn't say anything and mom didn't even look at her. The car was dead silent. When we finally got back to the house I was surprised to see my mother get out of April's car and walk in the house.
"I think I should wait outside." Jane said. "No, this needs to end. She is not going to do anything. Just go inside and say nothing."
  Jane walked inside and Rose was sitting at the kitchen table looking off to space. She looked over at Jane and Jane rushed to her room as fast as she can. I walked in and my mother sat back in her chair.
   "He didn't look like himself." She said. "I can't even describe what I saw when I looked at Billy in that casket. He didn't look like Billy. That wasn't my son." "Mom?" "Robbie, I understand you're trying to keep this family together but your brother was the only glue holding it, you can't hold it like he did. I'm going to spend time with April and you can call your fucking grandmother and she can help you guys with food and stuff. I don't know when I'm going to get back but I know that I will feel better when I'm away from you and Jane. So, call Evelyn, don't come looking for me."
She left the house with no bags or anything. Jane didn't come out of her room that night but I knew she heard every word my mom said. I called my grandmother that night and she dropped by a few thousand dollars that could last us a month and if we needed more to call her back. That night I got groceries for Jane and I and new books for school that I needed. My grandmother gave us enough money to last us for an entire month. But my mom wouldn't return home for three months after this day. And the day she came back is when I couldn't recognize her anymore, it wasn't me mother. The day she came back, is the day I would never see my mother until many many years later.