Ch. 75 - Confrontation, Pt. 2

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A/N: this chapter's a bit funny in that my need for dramaticness and the way shoujo anime has influenced me battles with the pragmatic and more realistic lens I'm slowly developing as I get older. You'll see lol

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Hitomi traced her fingers across her cheeks, sucking in a breath. They felt like they were on fire.

She loved him.

A weight felt like it was slowly getting lifted off her shoulders.

Hitomi loved him. She loved him. Hitomi loved Bakugou.

The more she said it over and over in her head, the more right it felt. The more it felt like that weight disappeared.

I love him.

I love Bakugou.

I'm in love with Bakugou.

Maybe she was overthinking her feelings.

But telling herself it was anything but love just seemed wrong.

"I love him," she whispered, staring down at the floor.

It wasn't the same pure, platonic love she held for Nari, or Kirishima. This was different, felt different.

Hitomi got up slowly, keeping a hand on the door to keep herself from falling over. She bit her lip, making her way to her bed and taking a seat.

How had it come to this...?

She already knew he was important to her, but... when had it come to the point where he mattered to her this much?

Hitomi didn't even know anymore. It wasn't like figuring that out would suddenly reset how she felt about him, anyway. She shook her head, brushing some of her hair back.

If anything... she'd just been naive.

With the weight off her shoulders, it put things into perspective, made things just a little bit clearer for her. Like a fog in her head had been cleared away.

She had acted childish about this whole thing. Believing that running away, and not confronting how she felt would suddenly solve her problems. Avoiding him wasn't going to change anything.

Not her feelings about him... or herself.

Because how she felt about him wasn't the only thing she was running from.

Hitomi had been trying to push it down, act like she had finally moved past it, but it would bubble up every so often, manifest itself within some crap excuse to justify running away from Bakugou.

That she was not. Good enough. For him.

That she wasn't good enough for anyone.

It'd been lingering in the back of her mind, hanging over her head, every time she told herself Bakugou finding out she liked him would weird him out, disgust him, make him want to stay away from her entirely.

Because what right did the useless, inferior, guilt-ridden Hitomi have to fall in love with the strong, resilient, and admirable Katsuki fucking Bakugou?

That was the tiny, little thought that had been fueling all of this, like an itch that would never go away.

That someone like her didn't even deserve to love someone like him.

Hitomi rubbed her eyes, not even surprised to feel that tears had smeared on her hand. She had started crying.

So this was what she had been running from.

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