Shadows of The Sun

Epilogue (Gabriel)

There comes a time when we all must face the pain of the decisions we have made. I was a troubled man, moving through life in a zombie-like state. Then there was her, and us, until there was nothing left. I was Icarus, and like Icarus, I had reached the sun. Had felt its warmth upon my skin and the pleasure it gave me as it slowly consumed me. Just like Icarus, I was scorched, but not before embracing the overwhelming bliss that came with finding my way to the sun.

In this vast universe, I am not unique, for countless souls seek this grandeur of love. Yet, for that fleeting moment in time, I was blessed to be consumed by an all-encompassing love that illuminated the depths of my existence, leaving a mark on my soul.

"Mr. Solis, do you understand the requirements that the court has set forth?"

"Completely" I replied solemnly.

My Lawyer leaned into whisper something in my ear, but my thoughts were far away and frankly I made a conscious effort to dial him out. I just wanted to escape this courtroom. I wanted to escape my father's piercing eyes and my brother's undeniable disappointment. I knew the consequences of what I was doing, that I was on a fast road that would lead me nowhere, but I couldn't stop myself.

"Gabriel" my brother started as we began walking out of the courtroom, my lawyer and father in tow. "Did you hear what the judge said, one more fight and you could be facing jail time." I nodded as I put on my leather jacket over my white button down and threw my suit jacket on the floor. "I will not sit back and watch you throw your life away" Diego paused "Are you listening to me?".

"I hear you loud and clear". Diego stopped walking.

"If you don't get your life together you are out of my house, do you understand?"

"Mhm" I grumbled. I heard my father sigh as he turned to Diego and said, "He's a lost cause I don't know why you keep trying to help him." My father continued. "He dropped out of law school and now these little courtroom hearings have become a common occurrence. I'm done bailing him out."

My father turned to me, making straight eye contact. A look that used to send shivers down my spine but now only bores me. It's honestly unbelievable how he has the audacity to lecture me about staying on the straight and narrow. These days, just catching a glimpse of his shadow makes me want to punch him in the face.

"Come on Leo be honest with yourself; you gave up on me the minute I was born." My father's eyes became ablaze, I stared back at him with a knowing gaze. A secret exchange of words through our eyes that only him and I can decipher. He knows better than to challenge further, so I walked out into the early morning light and found my way to my motorcycle.

I could hear Diego yelling from a distance, something about dinner on Thursday with our mother. Family dinner, what a joke. My mother is a saint, so I try not to upset her by making the attempts to show up for family dinner nights, but even that feels like I'm walking on my knees through shards of glass.

I got on my bike and sped off feeling the cool morning breeze on my face, the courthouse disappearing behind me. I've been living with Diego for three years now, a step up from the hell hole I was in at home, but somehow the family interactions haven't gotten any better. I used to dream of being exactly like my father, a big-time corporate lawyer, now just the thought of that makes me want to scream.

Diego and I were being perfectly molded to be the exact carbon copy of our father, but I refuse to be anything like him. Once upon a time I worshiped the ground he walked on, my father was my hero. When that facade was lifted, I saw him for who he truly is, a coward. I had no intentions of going back to law school and living the same shitty life as him.