Memories That Still Haunt Us

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Ellis

"What the hell was that?" Millie screeches.

I lean my elbow on the counter and rake my fingers through my hair. "I don't know."

"She called you Ellis!" Her voice raises, and the hand that was in my hair moves down my face.

"It was an accident, Mills. I doubt she meant it."

"What is happening? Why are you suddenly constantly defending her?"

"I'm not." My voice is tired. I'm tired. Arguing with Millie is the last thing I want to be doing right now.

"Yes, you are. We're paying her to help, and you're acting like I'm in the wrong for making her work!"

"Millie, we hired her to help with Beck. Not to be your servant."

She laughs bitterly, just as Beck comes creeping into the room, grabbing onto my arm. I scoop him up and place him on my lap. "Hey, you alright?" I ask.

He nods quietly.

"Beck, please, we're having a conversation. Can you leave us be?"

I shoot Millie a glare. "Why don't we save this conversation for later?"

"I learned a new magic trick." Beck says softly to me, worried about upsetting Millie.

We both know not to provoke her anymore than she already is. Both of us are notorious for backing down from Millie's moods. I ruffle up his hair and give him an excited look. "Yeah? Let's see it then."

"Ellis," Millie hisses angrily. "This conversation is not over."

"For now, it is." I snap back and hold Beck in my arms as I stand from the chair and carry him up the stairs. In his room, I place him down, and he starts showing me his new trick. What the hell was that with Reign? She knew what she was doing when she called me Ellis. She knew it would set Millie off. What was she thinking?

Sometimes the guilt feels too much. I can barely sleep at night, and in the morning, I tell myself it's not worth it. I can't afford to fuck this up. To lose what I have. If Millie found out, she'd take Beck from me. She'd destroy me. I can't have that happen.

But then I see Reign, and regardless of how hard I try to avoid her, somehow I always end up caving. I hate myself for it. I know what's at stake, and still, I kiss her anyway. Maybe that makes me a horrible person. Maybe that makes me a bad dad. I know I need to end things before everything blows up.

I just can't deny how she makes me feel. She awakens a part of me that has been in a deep slumber for a long time now. Sides of me I forgot existed.

But it doesn't matter. None of that matters. The only thing that does is Beck, and I need to set my selfish desires aside because this family is more important.

***

Beck is asleep. I've just stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist. The mirror is fogged up. Millie appears in the bathroom doorway as I apply toothpaste to my toothbrush.

"Why would she call you by your first name?" She pushes.

"Bloody hell, Mills. I don't know, okay?"

She stomps over to me and snatches my toothbrush out of my hand. Slipping in front of me, she places either of her hands on the counter, her eyes staring up into mine. "She's a child."

I snort. "Millie, she's twenty."

Her stare is intense, and I find it hard to hold her gaze. "What are you trying to say? That you find her attractive? That you would cheat on me with a child?"