Memories That Still Haunt Us

Chapter Fifty-Three:

I light a candle that smells of falling leaves. It's a forest green, and the flame flickers. My eyes watch it absently as I sip my glass of wine. A day has gone by. Things have gone quiet. So still. No movement from the house. No declaration of love from Ellis or telling me he's sorted everything out.

No word from Millie after our late-night heated argument on the bridge.

I'm growing antsy. Cooped up in the small guest house. So I call Iris. I've been neglectful of her recently. Not responding to her texts like I normally would. I'm too occupied with Ellis; I haven't had time for much else.

I'm hopeful things in my life will start to settle now. The teacher will more than likely steer clear of me after bludgeoning him with a rock. Millie knows now that I'm not some pathetic whore pining after a married man. In such a short amount of time, I've killed two birds with one stone, almost literally.

I've known sadness my whole life. Dead lawns and broken swing sets. Lonely Thanksgivings and present-less Christmases. Scream-filled nights and tear-soaked cheeks. Bruises, aching thighs, skinny wrists, and cut-up knees. Childhood of broken dreams.

Now I look outside and see maple-colored trees. A lively lawn with dewdrops clinging to it. A pool full of laughing memories. A man awaiting in a house that makes me feel warm inside, like a crackling fireplace. A life. A new life.

I'm so close I can feel it in my bones.

***

Iris waves me over from the booth she sits at. She has cut her hair shorter. A sleek bob, and she has rhinestones stuck to her eyelids with dark lipstick. I think about her lips when they were on me and how I could feel her wanting to hold onto the moment forever, not wanting it to end. I wonder if Ellis can feel that from me as well.

She smiles stiffly at me, and when I slip into my side of the booth and place my bag on the table in front of me, I feel her eyes on me closely. "How have you been?" She asks.

"I've been good." I say, and it's only partly a lie. "You?" I ask, though I don't really care.

"Same." She nervously looks off in the distance, as if we're having an awkward first date. "I haven't heard from you in a while."

"Yes, sorry, I've been busy."

"Is everything okay?"

"Why wouldn't it be?"

She shrugs. "I mean, the last time I saw you, we hooked up, and then you didn't talk to me again. I thought you were mad at me. I didn't mean to ruin our friendship."

I wave her off. "It didn't."

"Okay." She pauses and fidgets in her seat. "How has your job been?"

"Amazing."

"Really?"

"Yes." I smile to myself. "Ellis and I are going to be together. For real. I'm almost certain he's going to leave his wife."

She blinks at me. "Oh?" She clears her throat. "Well, I guess that's good."

"You guess? It's wonderful! I couldn't be happier. Honestly," I reach across the table and grab her hand. "I'm so happy with him, and his wife treats him horribly. She's a monster. It'll be better for him to be with me."

"What about their son?"

"Well, he'll be with us of course."

She nods slowly. "I'm happy you're happy."
I stare at her. "You don't seem it."