Memories That Still Haunt Us

Chapter Sixty:

When I slip my hand out of my glove, the icy breath of winter instantly makes a bright red color rush over each finger as I attempt to look busy on my phone. Besides an unwanted notification from Instagram alerting me that someone's posted for the first time in months, there are no new text messages.

Why would there be?

Iris is in love and happy with my ex-boyfriend, who, if I were cruel enough, would come crawling back to me if I showed any interest in him again, and my mother has not reached out in months now. She's clearly given up on trying to play the victim for why I no longer talk to her. I have no friends. There are no past lovers who seek my attention, as I've stopped sleeping around since Ellis.

Ellis is quite literally my world now. I orbit around him. He is my purpose and my reason for doing anything. I've always thought women in love were pathetic, weak beings. Now I am one, and I understand why. My love for Ellis, in a way, does make me weak. I'm so desperate for him that I'll do anything to keep him. Though I think Ellis is better than most men. He's not disgusting, slimy, or hateful. He is what most men wish to be.

The doors to the school open, and kids begin to trickle out. I spot Gretchen and Courtney standing under a tree that has lost all its leaves. When they see me, they raise their hands in a wave. I wander over to them and give them a stiff smile.

"Reign, how are you?" Courtney asks eagerly.

"We haven't seen you since the funeral."

"Fine." I reply and glance at the door, waiting for Beck to come running out.

"How has Ellis been? I hear Beck has really been struggling."

"Says who?" I ask.

"Well, my son. He says he keeps to himself in school now, and apparently, he just asks to go to the nurse all the time." Gretchen informs me with a saddened look on her face.

"I mean, totally understandable considering he just lost his mother." Courtney nods.

I grind my teeth. "He's been great at home. His normal smiling self. He's been handling it really well. It's already been a while since she's been gone anyway."

They look at me with peculiar gazes. "A month?"

Courtney leans in closer to us, letting us know she's about to say something gossipy. "My husband's friend who has a friend that works with Ellis said that they went for drinks at some bar and Ellis had this girl show up." Courtney gives me an expectant look. "Do you think Ellis is already with someone new? Or maybe he was having an affair? I mean, he always seemed so committed to Millie—"

"Probably because she was so controlling and jealous, she never let him out of her sight." Gretchen adds.

"Gretchen, you can't speak ill of her." Courtney snaps.

I roll my eyes. "Who cares? She'll never know."

"Well, tell us, did you ever hear anything? Was he having an affair?" They both insist. "Do you know who the woman was that showed up at the bar?"

A smile creeps on my face. What would happen if I told them? What would they say? I want to brag about my affair. Shove it in their faces that I've seen him naked and know all the parts of him—every inch of his body and mind. That I've gotten to love him and lay beside him. That I'm the one who will be with him forever, make him happy, and cook him meals.

I'll be the one making our bed in the morning, kissing him as he leaves for work, going on family trips together, and propping my legs across his lap as we read novels and talk about having another child. There is so much that is still to happen. It makes me so thrilled, I can hardly contain it.