Memories That Still Haunt Us

Chapter Fifty: Ellis

I sit in the accent chair inside Beck's room. Circus animals trot along the walls, lighting up the room in shades of orange, red, and blue. My eyes remain on Beck, watching as his chest rises and falls with each breath he takes.

            It's late. I should be with Millie in our bed, but sleeping beside her makes me feel ill. I'm trying to search within myself for the love I once felt for her. Trying to rediscover it in an attempt to hold onto our marriage. I keep coming up empty. My heart is filling with dislike towards her, and it's making it impossible to pretend.

            Somebody hurt Beck. It makes me angry at myself for allowing that to happen. Somebody scared him, presumably made him cry, and now he's come back with bruises and not his normal happy self. My mind keeps imaging Millie's father grabbing onto Beck's wrist in a fury and yelling into his face.

            Beck isn't a bad kid. He's good and kind, which his parents aren't. I want him to stay that way.

            Rain drops pad against the window. Summer gradually dissolving into autumn. Giving way to the leaves beginning to change. I think about some of the good days this summer has brought, a lot of them because of Reign. I wish it could have stayed that way. She made Beck and I smile. She brought a lightness to the house that hasn't been here for a long time—if ever. But things are becoming harder and messier, and I feel myself pulling away. There are bigger things on my mind. I can't lose my son for a fantasy with someone else.

            "Ellis." My name comes from the doorway of the room, and my eyes snap in that direction to see Reign standing there, hair wet around her face, droplets falling off her jeans and onto the floor. She looks distressed. She is clearly intoxicated, and I stand from the chair quickly and make my way over to her before she wakes Beck, or even worse, Millie. What is she thinking?

            I place my hand on her back, ushering her out of the doorway before quietly shutting Beck's door behind us.

            She steps away from my touch and tightly tucks her wet hair behind her ears. "I was with Lake last night, and he said something—"
            "Quiet." I hiss at her and glance down the hall at my closed bedroom door. We move down the stairs, my hands hovering near her in case she trips. Lightning strikes outside, rushing through the windows and lighting up the foyer. When we move into the kitchen, Reign begins rambling, pacing back and forth, and it worries me.

            "He said something that made everything make sense—the way she got the video of Lake and me, how she moved around without the cameras going off, how she's been getting away with everything!"

            "Reign, what are you talking about?"

            She whirls on her heel towards me and approaches. "Millie has been watching us. This whole time!"

            I sigh with frustration. "Fucking hell, Reign. It's midnight, and you come into the house completely mortal, so you can keep going on about Millie? Just stop."

            Her mouth falls agape as she blinks at me. "Did you not hear what I said?"

            "I did, I heard you. I've been hearing you, and I'm exhausted. I don't want to hear it anymore. You're going to wake everyone up."

            She throws her arms in the air like a child throwing a tantrum, and I nervously look behind my shoulder to make sure Millie isn't hiding in the shadows. I feel my heart thudding in my chest with anxiety. "I'm going to prove it to you. I'll find them." Her hand points around the room. "She's probably watching us right now! She's crazy, Ellis, and you know it."

            "The only one acting crazy right now is you." I snap at her, and she recoils as if I've slapped her across the face. "I just got Beck back; I'm not going to lose him again over your delusions. I'm not doing this with you right now."

            "My delusions?" Her voice rises, and my patience begins to thin. "I'm not fucking crazy!"

            I bring myself directly in front of her, making her mouth snap shut as she peers up at me with hysterical eyes. "You need to leave right now. I'm done with you."

            "Done? Done with me?" Her words sputter. "What do you mean by that?"

            "I mean, I'm done." My voice is clipped. I want her gone. I don't care if I've hurt her. Perhaps I should have ended things much sooner. But I was selfish and wanted more of her and the way she made me feel. Now, feelings are involved.

            There's a sting in my heart when Reign stumbles backwards away from me, blinking back tears, and I almost reach for her.

   Instead, I keep my face stone cold and try to cling onto any anger I feel. If I don't, I'll end up kissing her and taking back everything I've just said. I can't be selfish anymore. I never should have been in the first place.

            "What the hell is going on in here?" Millie is suddenly beside me, and my eyes widen in fear.

            Reign releases a bitter laugh. "Like you don't know. You've probably heard everything!" Seeing Reign this way—so unkept, so frantic—alarms me. Her normally soft brown eyes are bloodshot red and hidden behind a layer of frosted glass. Her movements are erratic, as she can't seem to stay put. I'm terrified of what Reign might say and how Millie is going to react. "Is this honestly the best you've got?" Reign laughs bitterly.

            My arms fold stiffly across my chest, my head bowing down towards the ground as Millie reaches out, holding onto my elbow. It feels so staged. Unnatural of her to touch me without a crowd around. She's doing it to upset Reign further, and when my eyes peer up at her, I see the vexation on Reign's face.

            "How dare you come into my house late at night in this state?" Millie snarls. "This is unsafe for my child. You're clearly unwell and need psychiatric help."

            Reign narrows her eyes. "Unsafe for your child? That's ironic coming from you considering what you did to your last one."

            The room grows still. A shocking silence. Lightning strikes. Rain falls harder. Reign struck Millie, but it managed to go through me first. Her words are painful, and it only takes a moment of agonizing silence before Millie responds.

            "I want you gone." Millie says it in a scarily calm voice. "I want you out of my house, you disgusting whore!" She points her finger at her like she's casting a horrible spell.

            "Why? You've been having so much fun trying to fuck up my life. Which, by the way, is that all you've got?" Reign stares coolly at Millie.

            I feel steam coming off Millie. A wildfire is about to start. Unfreezing, I bring myself between them. "Reign, please, just stop." My voice is pleading. Her eyes move to mine, and she looks wounded.

            "I want you out of our lives! Pack your stuff and get out." Millie seethes.

            Reign pulls her eyes away from me and, without another word, hurries out of the house and into the storm.

            "Are you happy?" Millie asks me, and I turn to look at her. "Look at all the chaos you've caused because you're a selfish, horrible father and husband. I can't believe you told her about Bridge. What the hell is wrong with you?" She rubs her hands together as if she's ridding herself of me. "By the time I get back from work this week, she better be gone. I never want to see her again."

            I nod silently. Too exhausted to argue. Too scared to upset her more in fear that she will leave with Beck again. Instead, I don't say a word and accept her harsh glare as she turns away from me.

            If Millie didn't know about us before, she must now.