|| Nightly Customer || Ticci Toby x Male!Oc || Creepypasta/ Marble Hornets||

chapter XXVIII: JUST AN EMPTY SPACE

I finally lost all my strength to fight

I knew I couldn't deny it anymore.  I lied to myself too much

I've lived too long in ignorance of my mistakes.  All these thoughts that haunted me were spinning non-stop in my head as I sat on my bed and stared at the newspaper. 

I re-read the newspaper many times, but it was long obvious that I was to blame.
It's my fault.  I dragged Shay into all this.  I brought her with me.

But... what would happen if I blocked totheark then?  Everything would change completely.. I would live normally, as always, and wouldn't suspect anything.  I wouldn't suspect that there was a murder at our store, let alone committed by Tobias.  I would just think of him as a regular customer.
  I would live in peace, not worrying about the safety of anyone.
  I would still meet Shay, we would still go out.  Everything would be fine, great even.

  Or what if I didn't do anything?  Didn't go to that shitty 'meeting'.  I would able to think of something better, for sure.  I could saved Shay!  But I couldn't.

Maybe if my parents trusted me more.  The police would be called. Though I don't really think the police would have been able to catch Tobias, but he probably would have been more careful. He'd lay low, right? But... would that stop him?  After all he is considered dead.
  He would still find a way to hurt me no matter what.

  But what would have happened if I had not ran away then?  On the first murder, if I hadn't done anything? I would die, that's for sure.  Tobias would have killed me in that second, without any thought. 

But maybe that would be for the best?  Shay would be alive, she wouldn't even know I existed.
She would be happy. 
I would have just died then and not experienced these torments now.  And I don’t think that anything would have changed If I were dead. Nothing would change without me. 
After all, I'm just a cashier in a dusty convenience store with no use, no future.
If he had killed me then, fewer people would have suffered now.

And there were so many chances for Tobias to kill me, but he never grabbed onto them.  Like he didn't need them.

He took pleasure in my suffering, that's no secret. 
He was definitely turned on by the fact that my life is completely in his hands. 

And besides, what would change if I managed to escape?  And how would I even manage to do that?
With my antics, I think I'll be chained up soon enough.

Should I even try to do anything now?
Let's say I can escape, what's next?  Will they put me in jail?  Or think I'm insane?  I'll only be declared innocent if I bring Tobias with me to the station, which is very unlikely. 
I am suspected of murder, this fact remains unchanged.  They won't believe me at all.

  I think society is against me already.  Although they wrote in the newspaper that they were searching for me to interrogate me, something tells me that they won’t even try to hear me out.  I'm willing to bet my mom already told me about my bipolar syndrome.  There are chances that I will even be sent to a mental hospital for 'correction' or something.  But that's all if I managed to escape, which I doubt. 

Is there any point in continuing all this?