I guess magic portals can appear anywhere and at any time, but a stall in a public restroom? You've got to be kidding me! Not to mention the inconvenience. I really had to pee and suddenly I'm transported to another world with my pants down and not a toilet in sight.
And to make things worse, this place I'd been transported to was not just any normal world. No, there was something terribly wrong with this world. Everything appeared as if it were animated. Seriously, picture the world of Roger Rabbit. I looked at my hands and wondered if I'd been tuned into Jessica Rabbit. I needed to find a mirror quickly and I still needed to pee. "OMG, what I wouldn't give for a public restroom right now!"
I had no sooner spoken those words than wisps of eerie green smoke began to swirl in front of me. The form of a magnificent serpentine floating green dragon appeared, and it spoke, "I am Shenron the dragon god. I will grant you your wish if you bring to me seven dragon balls.
I recognized him from the Dragon Ball Z animated series. I knew he was one of the more intelligent characters, a truly neutral being, granting any wish within his power without caring if it's good or bad. I figured he'd be reasonable. "I don't have time to go on a dragon ball quest. I have to pee right now!"
"Very well," the dragon shrugged. "I'll grant you that wish on credit, but now you owe me. There is a public restroom right over there. Try not to take too long. I am not a patient god and can only maintain my physical form for a limited time."
Magically, a public restroom appeared, and I hurried inside to perform my first animated pee. As I was washing my hands, I looked in the mirror and saw that I was not Jessica Rabbit, but instead was one of those big-eyed sexy anime girls. I kind of liked the look. I mean it could have been worse. I could have ended up as Mr. Hankey the Christmas poo from South Park.
When I returned outside, Shenron was waiting on me. "So, what now?" I asked.
He swirled in an angry twist, turned back toward me and ominously hissed, "Now, you owe me. You are the one that was prophesized. You are the one that will free me from this ridiculous two-dimensional world of a children's cartoon."
"And just how will I do that?" I questioned tilting my head.
"You mean you don't know?" He whined. "Crap. Why is nothing ever easy? A savior is supposed to know what to do."
"Sorry. This adventure didn't come with an instruction manual." I shrugged. Shenron got a depressed look on his face. I actually felt sorry for him and was seriously trying to think of something to help him. "Wait a minute. If I can find seven dragon balls, won't I get to make a wish and couldn't I just wish you out of here?"
"You get three wishes actually, but you already used one wishing for that restroom," he explained pedantically, but as he continued to speak, he became more optimistic. "If you were to find all seven balls, you would still have two wishes and perhaps you could wish me out of here."
"So, where do I find the balls?"
"You have to figure that out on your own."
"No problem," I told him. I got out my animated smart phone and typed in "How to find and collect dragon balls." Sure enough, there was a complete guide including a map showing where the balls were located.
Shenron and I proceeded to collect all the balls on the map. The only problem was that the map only showed the location of five balls.
"You still need two more dragon balls," Shenron sighed. He assumed we had failed. I knew better and I suspect you also know where I'm going to find the other two Balls. LOL.
I walked up to the dragon, reached into his coils, and grabbed just below his penis. Sure enough I had two more dragon balls. In my experience, when you grab balls like that the owner will most certainly grant you anything you ask for. I made my wish and we were immediately transported back to the restroom stall back in the real world.
Shenron thanked me. Then I asked him to excuse me because apparently my animated pee had not relieved my real world need.
He said, "By all means. Before I go, and you go, I should remind you that you still have one more wish. Just call for me when you want to exercise it.
I was thinking I wish he would leave so I could pee, but I wasn't going to say that out loud. He abruptly vanished. I hope my thoughts didn't use up my last wish. Oh, well. LOL.
