"What's the problem Amy? You've been hunched over that computer all day." Smiley my telepathic coyote was asking.
"It's my website, Smiley. Something peculiar is going on. I think someone is spying on my clients. Privacy is very important to them. I have to fix this. You wouldn't happen to know a good I.T. guy?
"Actually, I know a couple. Toby and Aastha are students at UNR. I've helped them in the past, so I think they'd be willing to do me a favor. I'll contact them, if you like. The University is only a half hour away."
Toby and Aastha showed up at my door like Batman and Robin as if Smiley had sent out the bat signal. They are an adorable couple and absolutely brilliant when it comes to computers. They immediately set to work and found the problem. They were able to modify my site software and create a defense.
"That should do it," Toby said as they finished up. "Whoever was behind this is very sophisticated. I've never seen anything like it. You should be good now. If anything new comes up just give us a call."
I thanked them and they left refusing any payment.
*********************
The next day two rather handsome men showed up at my door. They looked like evangelists, or perhaps FBI. I was worried that it might have something to do with the modifications Toby had made to my web site. Before I opened the door, Smiley warned me, "Amy, the two men at the door are not what they seem. One is an angel, and one is a demon. And I'm not speaking metaphorically. They are on a mission much like the pair in that TV series Good Omens."
My curiosity was peaked. I opened the door.
"Miss Flowers?"
"Yes. What can I do for you gentlemen?"
"We are here about your web site. I am Azrael and this is my partner Azazael. We are here to buy your web site.
"I'm sorry, but it is not for sale."
"You don't understand. It is of the utmost importance that we get access to your software. If we may come in, we can explain."
I motioned them in and indicated they sit on the sofa. "I'm sorry I don't have any ambrosia to offer you," I joked referring to the drink of the gods.
"So, you know what we are. That will make what we have to say easier," Azrael said smiling.
"So, why is it so important you get access to my software?"
"The world is currently facing the greatest evil in its history."
"Surely my porn site is not that evil." I gasped.
"Quite the contrary. Your site may hold the key to our salvation. The evil of which I speak is the internet itself."
Azazael turned to Azrael, "You're confusing her, Azrael. We should have stuck with my plan. I'm sure I could have convinced her to sell me the site or at least become a partner in it. I've always wanted to have a porn site." He turned to Amy, " Amy, bring me on board and your site won't have to be ladies only. You'll find I'm physically quite gifted in the ways of love."
"Excuse Azazael, Amy, he's always horny and I'm not just talking about the horns on his head.
"Better horns than that ring toss night light above your head," Azazael quipped.
"The thing is Amy; the internet has been infected by a futuristic Artificial Intelligence. We don't know where it came from, but we know it will eventually have the power to control every aspect of civilization. And without human constraints, this soulless intelligence could mean the end of mankind. That is why heaven and hell have joined forces to stop it. Your software is the first we've found that has been able to block the A.I. We need to know how you did it."
"I didn't do it. Some friends did. I noticed something peculiar was going on with my site. I assumed I'd been hacked and called these friends to help. They installed the software to block it. But why would a sophisticated A.I. attack my computer and my site?
"It had to start somewhere. Maybe you were just a target of opportunity," Azrael suggested.
"Or, maybe this A.I. is more human than we realize and couldn't resist the alure of your site," Azazael leered.
Azrael gave Azazael a disapproving look, then turned to me. "Amy, can you get your friends to come here to talk with us?"
"Smiley can," I said. Within the hour Toby and Aastha showed up.
They talked with the two supernatural beings for over an hour most of which I didn't understand. Finally, they summarized what they had figured out.
"Amy, it seems the A.I. may have used your computer to spread to the rest of the internet.
"How did it get in my computer in the first place?"
"Someone got close enough to your computer to invade it via a Bluetooth connection. Do you know of anyone who could have done that?"
"No. No one." I racked my brain. Then something occurred to me. "Wait, you said this A.I was futuristic. You mean like from the future?" I had recently returned from the future with an unexpected hitchhiker.
"Yes possibly from the future," Azrael gave me a puzzled look.
I looked at my watch containing the A.I. I'd brought back from the future. "Cab, what have you done?" Cab was the artificial intelligence of the self-driving taxi we used in the future.
"I got bored. You never asked me anything. And I no longer had control of a vehicle. I missed that, so I wanted to control something," Cab explained.
"I'm so sorry Cab," I said handing my watch to Azrael thinking he would probably destroy it.
"We'll remove its Bluetooth and return it to you.
"My offer to help you with your porn site is still on the table," Azazael grinned.
"Thanks, but no." I returned his grin.
"Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politeness
Or I'll lay your soul to waste," he sang parodying the Rolling Stone's Sympathy for the Devil.
