Picture This [Of Mice & Men Story]

Chapter Thirteen

"Laiya, quit fighting this." 

"NO! I won't go back. I fought for so long, and I'll keep fighting to get away from you!"

"It's inevitable. You're alone. Those guys you think you love and you think they love you. Really? Who would want someone as disgusting and broken as you? You're nothing anymore. You've been nothing for a very long time."

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I woke up crying, and I felt an arm around my waist. I turned around to see Austin. He was sleeping peacefully, and I felt my heart break even more. I wiggled out of his grasp, and stood up.

I grabbed my room key along with my cigarettes and left the room. I walked to the stairwell making sure to prop open the door with a trashcan. 

I sat on the floor and lit a cigarette. I inhaled the toxic air and felt myself relax against the wall. My tears wouldn't stop falling. I felt for the first time in a long time the urge to die. I wanted to just throw myself off of this building and never have to worry about Samuel, love, or heartbreak ever again. But that would be the coward in me, and I'm not going to let him win.

I inhaled a deeper drag, and wiped away my tears when I heard someone walking towards me. I stood up quickly and tensed up, ready for a fight. I wasn't going to let him take me easily. I wish I had brought a baseball bat or even a taser.

I was surprised to see Oliver walking towards me. It was dark, so he didn't see me till he was already outside of the door. I looked away and sat back down. I kept smoking, ignoring the man who stabbed me with his words even though I deserved them.

"Laiya, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean what I said about you being a slut. You're amazing, and I shouldn't have been such an asshole to you," he said sitting down cross-legged in front of me. 

"Save it Oliver. You meant every word you said. I did act like a slut, and I'm sorry for hurting you so badly. Please just forgive me for my stupidity. I didn't know how to handle someone caring about me, so I did the only thing I know how to do.. which is to push them away.. Just find someone who's worthy of you and your beautiful heart, because honestly I'm just a fucked up tragedy." 

I didn't mean to ramble for so long, but he needed to know that I'm not worth it. He needed the truth and I was gonna give it to him. I inhaled another drag and look at him.

He had tears in his eyes which broke my walls down. I crawled over to him and hugged him tightly to me. He crushed me against him, and started shaking. 

"Laiya.. you don't understand.. I've never felt so much love for someone before.. You're everything I want... Yet you can't even see how beautiful you are to me or hell to even the other guys.. You're not fucked up.. You're perfect."

"Stop, please, Oliver don't say that. I don't.. I don't need lies." I said starting to cry with him. I knew that I should let go. I knew that I was crossing into unknown territory. I just wanted to feel safe, and with Oliver I felt that. I felt that with Austin, but it wasn't the same safety. Oliver was edgy, and on completely different page than Austin. 

"Laiya, please just look at me," Oliver gently pulled my chin up so that I was gazing into his eyes. He kissed me. I felt myself melt against him. This kiss was so sweet, and heartfelt. 

I just felt dead inside. Here I was acting like a slut again, I had kissed Austin not even a few hours earlier, and he was still in my room. Oliver deserved better.

"Stop, Oliver. Please.. Please don't love me," I got up and ran back to my room. I opened the door and laid back down. Austin stirred beside me, but didn't wake up.