Sa Dalampasigan

Kabanata 5

Life is like a book, after finishing the first page you get to the second one.

Many first pages were the happiest point of the character then when you get to middle of the book it's when it turns around.

But my life wasn't like that.

When I was a kid my father was always away, on top of that my mother always left me on my own and when I got to the elementary I got bullied a lot by the people I thought would stay and be with me.

But after all that I never despised my parents. Instead of being angry, I was thankful. In my entire life where they left me alone, those things that passed made me stronger and made me independent.

But I wasn't physically alone, I had friends. But that was it. They were just there. I didn't bother getting close to them on the higher level, I didn't need it. I was scared of it. What if all the things I would say to them they would use it against me like they did?

It's 6am in the morning but those were my first thoughts. It's funny how you always enjoy life one second then the next day you feel terribly awful. It's as if you're not allowed to be happy. But of course that's not true! Everybody is allowed to be happy, all of us is allowed to be happy.

Forcing myself out of bed is always the worst but I needed to, I didn't want to be consumed by the thoughts in my head. It gets very tiring for the body when you think too much.

I decided to bond with ate Loma today. Ate Loma and I have been friends for a year now and she is such a great friend.

She teaches me a lot of lessons in life and she's really good at calculations which Im very much so jealous. You know like yung people na good sa math without even trying? Ate Loma was like that and hinahangaan ko talaga siya pagdating roon.

We had fun today. We talked a lot, went to mcdo and had an open forum, but of course hindi ako nag open up. I've always been like that, I wasn't one to open up to people, it felt like I would be a burden if did so, even to my mom I don't talk about very deep topics, I also was not the friendly type. One of my friends actually always tells me to mind my face cause I always look like I don't give a damn about things but I do, I really do. I just don't tend to show it because I feel like it's not needed.

Kinabukasan, ate Loma came to our house so I let her in sa room ko. Nag bihis ako sa harap niya kasi kwarto ko naman to kaya duhhhh.

"Es, ang taba naman ng likod mo, at tsaka wala kang curve, as in Es." saad ni ate Loma na hindi ko na ikinagulat kasi nasanay nako don eh. Nung una pinapatulan ko pa yon kaso nga lang di naman siya natitinag kaya pinabayaan ko na lang.

Nagpatuloy ako sa pagbibihis at sabay na kaming kumain ng lunch sa bahay kasi saktong lunch time na yon.

Matapos iyon, nanood kami ng "The Smurfs" kasi nga mahilig talaga si ate Loma sa cartoons at matagal na niyang sinasabi na gusto niya daw manood yon. Tahimik lang ako habang nanood habang si ate Loma naman excite na excite sa pinapanoon.

"Es, ganto din katawan mo Es oh. Maliit. hahhaha." saad naman nito. Masakit yun ah. Alam ko namang maliit ako at di katangkaran pero no need to rub salt on the wound naman. Lagi nalang siyang ganto eh.

Pero humor niya yon kaya siguro. Kahit masakit man sa akin yong sinabi niya, binalewala ko nalang iyon kasi nga magkaibigan kaya kami no at tsaka ang bait ni ate Loma nakakaguilty naman kung magalit pa ako sa ganon ganon lang.

But still it hurted. I hope she stopped saying those. Many people don't realize this but words are very powerful. Just one word could ruin that person's strength, confidence, and motivation. We don't know the mental strength of a person or what a person could be going through and hurtful words could lead to destroying someone.

"Es, ikaw na ang gumawa ng choreo sa sasayawin natin ngayong Anniversary, sa July 5 pa naman mataas taas pa time mo." ani Ate May. Meeting namin ngayon ng mga youth ng church.

Agenda: Church Anniversary.

"Okay te. Ano po ang lineup?" ani ko.

"Send ko na lang sayo sa messenger mamaya ha, ifafinalize pa namin."

"Okay po." ani ko at chineck ang kalendaryo para malaman kung ilang araw pa ba meron ako para makapag handa.

"Sunday ngayon, May 28 sooo... 1 month plus. That's pretty long." saad ko kay ate Faye na katabi ko.

"Kailan ka gagawa?" ani ate faye.

"Next week? May hinahabol pa ako sa client ko eh."

"Ha?! Client? Anong client dai?" pasigaw na pabulong na ewan.

"Meron nirefer sakin ni Ate Zia. Kasi nga diba ako gumagawa nang editing sa mga assignment niya? Tapos may friend pala siyang mag sastart ng business, naghahanap daw ng gagawa ng mga logo and skemeru kaya yon nirefer niya ko tapos gumora naman yung client ko. Pero bet ko din eh, mataas pay dai." sabay hagikhik ko.

"Wow naman. Biggest client mo ba yan?"

"Yes, yes and yes, hopefully mag tuloy tuloy ang luck ko."

That night, tinodo ko na ang pag dedesign ng logo ng client ko this week na kasi ito. I have 4 days pa naman kaso nga lang may mga iba pa akong clients na this week ko na lang din ipapasa ang mga ipinagawa kasi nga next week na ako gagawa ng choreo.

I started editing photos and videos for fun
when I was 14. they looked really cool kasi kaya natuto ako. Tapos nung school days pa lumapit si ate Loma sakin about daw sa assignments nila na editing is required at since hindi daw siya marunong ay magpapagawa nalang daw sila ni
Ate Zia.

At first aayaw sana talaga ako kasi ayaw ko na ako gumagawa ng trabaho ng iba lalo na't regarding sa school pa ito pero nung sabi niyang magbabayad nalang daw sila napa-oo ako ng wala sa oras. Naisip ko kasing mag si-senior high na pala ako at for sure ay madami na ang requirements kaya kailangan ko mag save up.

Ayaw ko naman din kasi na lagi nalang ako lalapit sa magulang ko regarding sa mga kailangan ko.

Since that day sa akin na sila nagpapagawa ng mga assignments nila pero ofcourse sa editing lang ako no, I don't do other stuff besides editing. Super nakakaguilty yon.

And naka save up naman ako non, marami ring mga ibang mga friends nila ang nagpagawa sa akin. And nung natapos ang school sa mga small businesses na ako gumagawa ng designs and itong client na nirefer ako ni ate Zia to is the biggest one yet.

I rubbed my eyes and yawned. "Ugh, Im tired." hikab ko ulit. I checked the time and it was already 11pm.

"Saklap naman. Kaya di ako tumatangkad eh." reklamo ko. Pinatay ko na ang laptop ko at naghugas ng mukha kahit pagod na masyado ako. Super important sa akin ang skin ko kasi nga noon tinadtad ako ng acne at araw araw nalang may nagtatanong sa akin.

"Hala Es bat naman ganyan mukha mo Es?" o di kaya "Naku Es ang bata bata mo pa pero andami mo ng tigyawat."

Eh kung kayo kaya magka acne, mga echosera. Na insecure tuloy ako sa mukha ko starting non. Nakakainis napagastos pa tuloy ako sa savings ko para sa mga skincare na to at tsaka derma.

Nang matapos ang routine ko ay nagbasa muna ako ng manga online. Reading mangas are also one of my hobbies and of course nag aacting-acting nanaman ako havang nagbabasa kunware ako daw yung female lead sa story hihi.

"Ay dai, sampalin mo na yan talaga, gorahin mo na at mag go kana kay Ethan." inis na sabi ko habang nagbabasa. Mas pogi kasi si Ethan kaysa dito sa current boyfriend ng babae na wala ng ibang ginawa kundi ang itaas ang sarili niya.

"Nakakaloka yang bf mo te ha, kala mo naman kung sinong gwapo. Teng you deserve better at si Ethan yon, ay charot naman. Strong independent tayo teng, ano ba yan kase." pabiro ko pang saad.

Nahagilap ko ang oras sa selpon ko at napagtantong 12:30 na pala.

"Tipaklong nga naman makatulog na nga." saad ko bago matulog.