Scars Of Our Love | Cato Hadley X Male Reader | Vol. 1

16 ~ Death Wish

Death is a tragedy unavoidable to every living thing, sometimes it comes early. It doesn't have morals or make decisions based on who deserves it, it just steals lives at random. Kids, Mothers, Fathers, and even friends have all been taken too early, stolen from the ones who loved them. Leaving us in eternal pain, grieving for the loss of their presence.

I was all too familiar with this pain. When my mother passed it felt like the point of living had gone, my body ached. I barely slept or ate and I was in a constant state of depression.

Now as I stand above Jenna's body I feel a sharp pain in my chest, tearing up my insides. The muscles in my legs grow weak as I feel myself fall onto my knees, cheeks stained with the continuous stream of tears which dripped down my jaw. I hold her hand in mine, tapping it ever so slightly. Deep down hoping that she was somehow still alive and she would wake up any second.

"Please," I whisper, "Please come back, I can't do this alone." As I sob I feel my whole body shaking. If I had only killed Marvel when I had the chance. If the boy was telling the truth Jenna would still be alive. My mind was clouded with thoughts I never thought I would think of. Picturing myself standing above Marvel's body like I had Jenna's just made the pain feel a little more bearable.

I move my right hand, grabbing my axe. The metal handle was once again covered in warm blood, and with a quick tug, it was free from the flesh of the boy next to me. Marvel is going to die at the hands of my weapon. I am sure of it.

Her bag was still wrapped around her shoulders, clutching the fabric of her jacket tightly. I feel my breath stop for a moment as I roll her body over, gently unzipping the bag and pulling its contents out. It almost felt wrong, like I was stealing from her. The only thing allowing me to continue was the thought of my survival, she would want me to live. She would want me to win this for District 7.

As I slowly pull away her body falls back to its original position, her dark brown eyes staring up to the sky. I run my fingers over her face carefully closing her eyelids before standing.

"Goodbye," I whisper quietly. I turn around and begin to walk as a light breeze blows by, seemingly pushing me along. A final tear forces its way out of my eye. I don't know if I'm losing my mind but I almost felt as If the breeze was Jenna pushing me along, telling me to go on without her. At least that's what I am telling myself.

The clearing where I once stood was small, it only took a few steps to be back in the infinite green void of the forest. Everything is the same as It was before, only now I was different. Jenna would always be the one to track where the water was, or where good hunting places would be. It wasn't even just that, her company was the only thing keeping me here, keeping me sane. I now had no one to talk to, everything from this point on would have to be just me.

I knew if I was going to win this moment would happen eventually, but I didn't expect it to come so soon.

I planned on hunting Marvel down but I haven't even begun to think of how I would do it. After saving Jenna at the cornucopia he didn't attack me, or even dare to chase me. I knew Cato had something to do with it, he must have told the others not to target me, but even his protection would not be able to save me from the other three. I had to be careful about this, somehow getting him alone, away from the others.

It sickened me to think like this. Before I left home, when I had the chance to say bye to my loved ones, Sky told me he believed in me. He told me to hunt. That there was no difference between animals and humans, we were all the same. Right now at this moment, I feel myself believing his words. Aside from the huge amount of guilt and sadness I felt after killing those tributes, it was really that simple. I could hunt and kill them just as easily as a squirrel or rabbit, which felt terrifying. The skills I had were on par with the careers, kids who trained their whole lives for this. Nobody expected me to turn out like I did. It was unfair.