Dear Caroline

Dear Caroline 6

"How come?" my confusion reach the universe. Is his cat was here all along?

"Well..." he shrugged and take one step to take Freya in his arms.

"I thought... "

"She was wandering around when you found her." he pat his cats head and put it down again. "Well, I think I owe you."

"No, I didn't know that you're here and... " my eyes shift to Freya who was licking her knuckles again. "Thank god she found her way."

"Yeah, thank god." he smiled before dribbling his ball again.

That night conversation with him prove me that his not that intimidating. He's a good conversationalist. I can't even talk the way he talks. But because the night went deeper. I bid my goodbye to him. And I never thought of bidding a goodbyes was far more painful than receiving letters from someone you knew.

"I never thought it could be your letters, Lia." my mom's voice laced with concerns.

"Yeah, I never thought also." I sadly carried the box from the living rooms table. I kissed my Mom goodnight and climb upstairs.

I did my night routine before heading to my bed and opened the box. The box was not that heavy and loaded, it was full of letters I sent to Caroline, the paperplanes we make, and my...

"Gabby... " I stared at my small teddy bear. I've never been holding my most precious toy like this. And it all because of my friend.
"Why would Caroline sent you back to me?"
As I stared at the things inside the box I can't help my self but to remember every single feelings I've felt when I wrote this letters.

I've wrote him when I graduated highschool, my every birthdays, every christmas, every valentines and every special occasions happened in my entire life when I'm far away from him.

My eyes became blurry, I took a deep breath to avoid myself from drama. I even saw my last letter I sent to him. Without any other seconds my tears fell. I can't help but to feel regrets. Regrets because of the friendship we had once when we're on the orphanage. Regrets to the memories we once shared. And regrets for those promises we meant to be broken. Once, I never imagined my life without Caroline. Because Caroline was very best friend, my brother, and I saw him to be my husband. A husband who could assure me, who would never forget me, and will never leave me hanging in this kind of misery.

"Caroline... What happened to you?" I covered my mouth with my hands when I sobs. I put the box on the floor and took my boxes with a letter from Caroline. I gathered his letters here in my boxes, even his clothes that I got when we're still on the Bahay Kalinga. His favorite blanket was there too. "Caroline..."

"Freya, you need to go with them." Caroline caressed my cheeks to wipe of my tears. "I'll find you, okay? Your adopters are great, they've even considering to bring me with you." he cheerfully said.

"Then why can't you come? I told you, Caroline! I'm not leaving this place without you!" I was sobbing hard in front of him. Caroline knows my attitude, and he is the only person who can tamed me.

"Freya... I made a promise with my Mom. She said she'll come back and bring me with her, and I can't just leave this place without her." he eyed me with an apologetic look, hands still in my cheeks while wiping my tears.

"Then how about me, Caroline? How about your promise? You promised me not to leave my side. You promised to marry me when I'll became eighteen! You swear, Caroline! You swear!" my cries were getting louder and louder as I remember those things he said. He said that when I turned eighteen we will leave this place travel, after that we will get married.

"Shhhh, of course I do. Promised is a promise, I will find you someday, Freya. But before that, you need to learn how to write, okay?" he showed me his charismatic smile. Caroline has this spanish feature on his entire face. His pointed nose, brown eyes, long and curve eye lashes and his almond eyes. His skin was tan and his hair was curly brown. Everytime he smiles, his eyes would disappear that makes my young heart beats for him. To beat for it's person she likes.

"Why would I learn to write, Caroline?" I said, already stop from crying.

"Well, you could write me a letter if you want. Then I will replied to you."

"When will I write you a letter?" I ask feeling excited.

"Everytime," he smiled.

"Even in Christmas?" he nodded. "In Valentines?" he nodded again. "Your birthday?"

"Even summer, even in your birthdays, even everyday, Freya. I would love to read your letters."

"Then you will sent your replied, Caroline!" I cheerfully said before I extended my hand to him. "Then... Promised?"

He smiled, nodded his head and take Gabby, my teddy bear as a sign of his promises. "I promised, Freya."

I cried when I remembered the exact words he said when were parting our ways. I was adopted when I was six, and Caroline was two years older than me that time. After eight months of going home in my adopters house I found out that Caroline was adopted also. At first I was mad. If he wants to be adopted then why can't he come to us instead? But instead of lashing my anger at him I was determined to write a letter for him. So I ask my adopted parents, which is my Mom right now, to enroll me in the basic writing class. My Mom was happy, she thought I was smart. But I just need the writing class to write my letter to Caroline.

I never failed. After months of practing on how to write I started writing a letter for Caroline about my day. Imagine a seven year old girl, sending her long distance bestfriend a letter. Meeting him every last day of the year, and exchanging gifts every occasions.

Caroline never fails to replied me at first. Every letter I sent has an exchange. It was all smooth. Not until I turned fifteen, he sent me his replies infrequently until one day... I never get his replies.

I piled all my boxes under my bed. I turn off the light and turn on the lamp. That's where I saw the picture.

Beside the lamp was me and Caroline's picture. He was wearing his Elementary toga while holding the cap, beside him was a girl. The girl he once made promises. The girl he just hurt right now.