Violetgrass

A Thousand Loves

"Are you okay?" asked Baizhu, sitting on the bed beside Chaoxing. Chaoxing lay face down on the bed, her face tucked into the pillow.

"Don't want to get up."

"Are you still sleepy, or is this one of your days?"

"Somewhere inbetween both."

"I'll get you some tea?"

"Thank you."

Baizhu left, and Changsheng curled up beside the pillow. "Did something trigger you? I told Baizhu not to take you to the funeral!"

"I don't think it was just the funeral," said Chaoxing, half-lying. "I just don't feel okay."

"How do we make it better?"

"I don't know," sighed Chaoxing. "I'll just lie here until I figure it out."

"Tea," said Baizhu, handing her a cup. She got up and took it from him.

"This smells nice," she said, taking a sip. It was sweet too.

"Health starts from the stomach," said Changsheng.

"I want something," she said, keeping aside the empty cup.

"And what's tha-oomph!"

She'd thrown her arms around Baizhu leaning into his shoulder. "Affection," she muttered.

"Well," laughed Changsheng, "Someone knows how to ask for what she wants."

Baizhu hugged her back, resting a hand on her head. She felt him plant a kiss on her hair, and he didn't let go until she did. Chaoxing was feeling better within seconds.

"Better?"

"Absolutely."

"But you can take a break today," said Baizhu, standing up. "You've been through a lot lately."

"I'll take you up on that offer." She paused and then looked up at him uncertainly. "Can I head into the city for a bit today?" She hadn't visited her home in a while, and wondered if any more letters had arrived for her. Not like there was anyone out there who she wanted to contact her.

"You're no prisoner. Be back by dinnertime."

Chaoxing went straight to her old house. A pile of letters sat outside, more than she'd expected. And all of them were from Qingce Village.

She picked up the newest, the one that lay neatly on top of the pile. It was a letter from her mother, written in her elegant handwriting. Chaoxing had loved getting letters from her, but that was a long time ago. And when she was young, she used to practice her handwriting, trying to copy her mother's. She bit her lip as she read.

Chaoxing,

I understand you don't want to come home, but there's something you should know. Your father has fallen ill. You should at least come see him once.

-Lijuang

Chaoxing read through it twice. Her first reaction was panic, and her second was that it might be a ploy to get her to visit. But they didn't have any reason to see her, and neither did she. Confused and brooding, she made her way back to the heart of the merchant's city, stopping to look at what was for sale in a jewellery shop, before making her way back to the pharmacy.

She slipped past Gui and Changsheng, who was coiled around his shoulder. They were talking to a young woman, who seemed to be giving Gui some city gossip. It seemed to be about Lumine, and Chaoxing was a little curious.

But she headed back to the room at the back, where Baizhu sat at his desk, writing something. He stopped and smiled at her, but when she smiled back, his expression changed to concern immediately. He dropped the brush on the table and walked to her.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm fine?"

"No, you're not."

He sat on the bed, and she sat beside him. "What gave it away?"

He rubbed a thumb across her lower eyelid. "Your laugh lines stand out when you smile."

She blinked, and then nodded, handing him the letter. He looked at it, and she told him her concerns.

He considered it for a second, and then looked thoughtful. "Well, I suppose it has been a while since we went to Qingce Village. Might as well."

"Huh?"

He vanished out the door, and Chaoxing stayed on the bed, wondering what was going on. He came back a moment later. "Done. We'll be there for three days, from tomorrow."

"That... thank you," she said, surprised.

He waved a hand nonchalantly. "Have you seen Qiqi anywhere?"

"No," said Chaoxing, looking around, as though saying her name would summon her. "Not since last night."

"She must've wandered off to get some herbs then..."

"Aren't you the one who usually sends her off to get some?"

"She sometimes does it herself." Chaoxing wondered why he looked so distressed. He placed a hand on his forehead and his eyebrows were scrunched together. "She won't be back until she finds the herbs she wants, or until someone stops her."

"And is there something wrong with this?"

"Let's just say that she'll fall off cliffs to find the herbs."

That caught her attention. She stood up. "Let's get her home." She started to the door, and was halfway there when she turned back. "That said, where would she be?"

He offered her a small smile. "I think I might know."

And that's how they found Qiqi at the base of a mountain. Qiqi tried to climb it, and then when she reached a certain point, she tumbled and fell, as though she had a stamina bar that ran out at that point. Chaoxing had a mini heart attack, and ran to her, but Qiqi just shook it off and tried to climb again.

Baizhu grabbed her from behind, drawing her close to his chest. He whispered something in her ear, and Qiqi slowed down. Baizhu sighed as she tried climbing again, but this time, with less vigour.

"What did you do?"

"I told her I loved her. That cancels out the commands she gives herself." He sighed. "But it doesn't work all that well when I do it."

"Why's that?"

"According to what Qiqi once told me, 'Words like that shouldn't be thrown around carelessly.'"

"So she basically said you're insincere," said Chaoxing with a nod.

"You didn't have to say it like that."

Chaoxing walked up to Qiqi, and imitated Baizhu. Hugging the little girl from behind, she whispered in her ear with every bit of affection she'd had for Qiqi. "I love you." Qiqi went limp, and Baizhu picked her up.

"How did you do that?"

"Loving isn't hard." Chaoxing pushed aside Qiqi's bangs, her eyes tender. "Letting someone else love you is."

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