don't get your hopes up ☆ {daron malakian}

3

{smut warning. not too proud of how this is written despite how long it took me (its 4430 words long) but i hope you enjoy nonetheless. expect another update soon :) next chapter will be portrayed a lot better i think. ALSO i know daron is portrayed as sort of fucking toxic but it will all make sense in the end istg😭😭}

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"Jealous? I could do that to you, too."

I quickly shook my head, listening to his sadistic laugh. We subconsciously were pulled closer to each other, almost able to feel his breath. I could hear my own heartbeat pounding in my ears, wary and unable to process the situation.

"C'mon you know you want me. That's why you're such a bitch, right?"

His hand lied by my hip on my opposite side, gently pulling himself closer to me. I examined his features, not sure how to feel about his face, looking from his lips to his eyes. I had never looked at him in a way that I felt attraction, didn't allow myself to look at him for more than a few seconds, but now it seemed as though I was forced to look at him. I couldn't express the feeling I got just by looking at him.

The hot, dim room was deafening, the buzzing of the mini fridge in the corner providing a small amount of ambience. That didn't matter though, all that mattered was the fact that Daron was basically above me, his lips inches away from mine. I was terrified, not moving, not knowing was to say, not knowing what would happen next. Neither of the pair of us spoke up, Daron quiet as his eyes began to droop, just looking at me.

He was still, frozen almost as he looked as if he was lost in a dream. I was confused until Daron finally moved, leaning in and planting a soft kiss on the side of my mouth. The small action weakened me, my heart feeling like it was in my throat, embarrassed by my own reaction, stunned. I didn't know what to say or do, all that I could think was that 'oh my god, this man just fucking kissed me'.

I watched, my throat closed and my eyes wide, silent until Daron leaned back in and pressed his soft lips against mine. And you know what? I kissed back.

The kiss was not intimate, but rather one of desperation. His tongue was quick to appear in my mouth, his teeth occasionally pressing down on my own lips.

I was stupid, and I knew that. I mean, what were we doing, making out with each other even though we hated each other? But really, I couldn't bring myself to care. I didn't bother to think twice, to listen to the panicked and screaming thoughts in the back of my mind, pushing them away and ignoring that inner voice. I ignored the way my mind advised me to stop here, that me letting this continue would only make things worse, but I couldn't help it.

There wasn't a lot of instances where I enjoyed Daron's presence, but this was one of them. I enjoyed kissing him, a feeling stirring within me that was hard to name.

I knew that this was wrong, that I needed to stop.

But I didn't.

It was hard to stop, hard to think when his lips felt so good against my own, when I loved the saccharine taste that had me blossoming with emotions (that I surely didn't dwell on), the way we desperately gripped onto each other.

It was hard to keep up, our kiss growing deeper than before, growing more and more lustful, desperate. I hummed in response.

This pushed Daron to keep going, his larger and warmer hands gripping wherever they could.

My mind was scrambled, barely able to think, feeling drunk on his lips, knowing how wrong it was to be kissing a man who I couldn't stand but not being able to help myself. Why couldn't I help myself? Where did these strong urges come from?