"Why can't you simply do it?!" He yelled. "When I get back you better have all those missing assignments completed and on this table!" He grabbed his keys and went out the door.
He was probably going to the gas station or something. I never know anymore. My chest was straining.
I rushed to my closet and jerked out my bag. I dumped all the school papers and books onto the floor. I threw my sketchbook and several pencils in the bag. I slammed the front door as I grabbed my skateboard and headed off down the road.
Sometimes I get a sudden flood of thoughts in my mind. It's a bad feeling. When this happens all I want to do is get away from everything. My dad just makes it worse when he yells. I love him, but sometimes I wish he would die. I don't even know if i'd cry.
The skateboard was rolling smoothly under me. The late air was nice. It smelled like smoke from people's backyards. The cool wind dried my eyes. I raced my board out of the neighborhood to the red covered bridge.
"Crap, there's somebody here." I whispered to myself as I noticed a little figure standing on the edge, looking down at the water.
It's so awkward to have a plan but it gets ruined because someone else beat you to it. As I got closer I realized who it was.
"Tommy?" I asked looking at his trademarked hat. He looked at me from the corner of his eyes.
"Hey, Scott." He said in a low tone. "What are you doing here?"
"I don't know. Just gettin some air." I threw my board down in the grass then walked the rest of the way up to Tommy. "What are you doing here?"
"Thinking." He stated.
"Oh, well, what are you thinking about?" I asked as I leaned over the edge looking at the water like he was.
"Why are we here?" He asked.
"Because...we like bridges?"
"No, like why do we exist?" He said with a sigh.
"I don't know." I thought a little. "Is something wrong?"
He looked up at some birds fluttering around a tree.
"My mom kicked me out of the house for a while. She said I need to leave. I don't even know if she likes me anymore." He said as I put my hands in my pockets.
I didn't know what to say back.
The water had a constant ripple running from far all the way underneath us and farther away. The sun was setting, and mosquitoes were coming out. I sighed not knowing how to carry on this conversation.
"I wish I had a reason to be here." He said dropping a coin over the side. It flipped around then made a quiet splash in the water. He looked at me with an exhausted glare.
I don't know what he was thinking, but I knew what he was feeling. We sat down in between the beams of the bridge. I accidentally sat on a rock from the trail. It freakin hurt. It was kind of cold out now. It was getting darker. I opened my bag and flipped open my sketchbook. I started drawing on a blank page. My pencil was dull though.
"I have no importance here." He said. "Neither do you."
"Unless we make something of ourselves." I said making a mark on the paper.
"There's nothing to be. Everybody has already been everything. Plus, what's the point of living if you won't be remembered once you die?"
"I don't know! I'd be askin you the same darn question!" There was a brief sliver of silents; probably because of the way I yelled that.
"What you drawin?" He asked leaning in close to me.
"A bridge." I answered. We sat there talking on and on about random topics, and watching birds as I drew, until I decided to head home.
"I'll see you later, then." I waved goodbye. He waved back and we went opposite ways.
"Where were you?!" Was the first thing I heard when I walked in the door. The atmosphere was tense and the air was crammed with chaos again. I closed my eyes and wished to be dead.
"Answer me!" He said walking towards me.
"I was skateboarding! God!" I said slamming my bag on the couch.
"Out of the neighborhood?" He asked with a mad look across his face.
"Yeah! Far away from this!"
"You can't leave this house when I'm gone! Do you want to get kidnapped? Do you want some stranger locking you in his car?! There's a lot of psychos out there. Anyone can kill you."
"Even me." I thought.
I ignored what he had to say and went to my room.
My dad was overall a good man. However, it seems like when he's mad he doesn't know when to stop. I know he loves me because i'm his son, and I love him because he's my dad. There's something about him that keeps me loving him.
Normally hugging people feels weird and awkward, but when hugging my dad it's totally different. He'd call my name. I come up to him as he spreads his arms out like wings. It's like a welcoming invitation that takes no hesitation to go to. It's like the perfect fit for me in there right again his chest. It's like my charger so I don't run out of energy and give up for the day.
Hugging him feels like the safest place in the world. He hugs me tight with his wings and I can hear his heartbeat. Closing my eye because it makes me want to cry. -Not because i'm sad or anything, but because I love him so much.
I can feel what he's thinking. I wish I could stay there forever. When he and I fade out of a hug I feel sadder than ever because I feel alone and scared when he leaves the house. Hoping he comes home safe. I replay that moment over and over until the next one, knowing one time it will be the last.
Once he's gone my source of motivation to keep living will be gone as well.
