Actor(Oshi no ko)

Do you love me?

(Ai POV)

It's been a few hours since we finished filming, and now, as night falls, I find myself staring at the peacefully sleeping triplets. Getting up from my seat, I naturally head towards the tranquility of the balcony, seeking solace in my own thoughts.

The memories of the performance that Aikara and I delivered earlier on the set resurface, flooding my mind. Despite the passage of time, their vivid impact refuses to fade away. The lasting impression lingers, refusing to be dismissed.

Saying those three simple words, "I love you," a phrase that comes so effortlessly to most mothers when addressing their children, doesn't come as easily to me. Its weight and significance go beyond mere casual expressions, making it a sentiment of profound depth and emotional complexity.

I'm sorry, Aikara, for not reciprocating your feelings earlier. I really want to say it to you too, but deep down in my heart, there is a single fear - the fear that my declarations of love might be nothing more than lies.

You see, I'm well aware that I am not always honest. I have a tendency to say things that sound appropriate in the moment, without thinking them through beforehand. So those three words, "I love you," often find their way to my lips, not just because they seem like the right response, but also because I genuinely want to show love to my dedicated fans.

However, because of the constant flow of falsehoods that come from me, I find myself questioning the authenticity of my expressions of love. I'm unsure if my words hold any truth, and this uncertainty extends even to the idea of expressing my love to my own children. That's why I held back, driven by fear and my inclination towards cowardice.

I'm sorry, Aikara, Aqua, and Ruby. I fully acknowledge my shortcomings as a mother, and I'm sorry for not being the mother you guys deserve.

Just as I was about to delve deeper into my thoughts, an unexpected voice suddenly breaks the silence, making me turn my attention towards its source.

"Mom, can we talk for a moment?" Aikara asks, his bright smile etched on his face. However, beneath that cheerful expression, I sense a subtle trace of sadness.

How am I able to perceive that? It's not like his face reveals anything.

Is it perhaps due to maternal instinct? Or is it a the instinct of a fellow liar, someone who hides their true emotions behind a mask?

Wait, why did I think of that? Instinct of a liar? Aikara isn't like that, he's not a liar.

He's different. Unlike me, a flawed and deceptive individual, Aikara is pure-hearted. His smile is genuine and sincere, and his words of affection come from the depths of his being. So how could he be a liar?

Interrupting my thoughts, I realize I haven't responded to Aikara yet.

"Sure, Aka!" I exclaim, gripping the balcony railing and gesturing for him to join me. With a faint smile, I ask, "What do you want to share with me, mama?"

___

(Aikara POV)

"What do you want to share with mama?" Ai's voice reached my ears, making me think deeply.

I intentionally chose this moment, when Aqua and Ruby had fallen asleep, to talk to Ai about that specific incident. But as I stood in front of her, I couldn't find the right words to say.

If it were my persona, I would have known exactly how to act, what to say, and how to express myself. But this time, I wanted to confront her as my true self because it was an important moment. The problem was that I wasn't sure who my true self was. So, how could I approach her without feigning authenticity?