Hiding

Message

The second i sent that message,
the one I didn't mean,
the one I didn't feel,
the one I would regret.

Those 5 words.
The 5 words that ruined our connection.
The words that changed me,
changed you,
changed us.

I sent that message.
Fingers tapping the sides of my phone.
Desperately waiting for a reply, while also dreading it.

Delivered.
Delivered.
Delivered.
Read.

The word changed and my heart stopped. 
My eyes were soppy and wet. Tears still escaping out of my eyes.

I had sent paragraphs attached to my overall statement,
hoping it would ease the pain a little for the both of us

maybe make it easier,
provide a softer falling space.

It's not you, it's me.
you were trying to heal,
and i felt like another obstacle blocking you from success.

you were struggling,
and so was i,
and i felt that i was making it worse

i wasn't helping you,
i wasn't healing you,
i wasn't offering a helping hand,
i was hurting you.

at least, thats what i see in my eyes.

my heart aches,
i so badly want to tell you,
that i still like you,
that i never completely lost feelings.

But,
i sent that message.
i wish i could undo it.
maybe then,
things would be completely different.