Chennai Terminal || WLW Novel || Indian Sapphic

11. Honey, Respect

{present day}
I was at my fan signing event today. And I met someone.

Like not someone someone but someone I had an incident with.

I did notice her earlier while signing but then I meet a lot of people. In a line full of old creepy men, random poor people who were probably going to sell my signed copies and aesthetically lesbian looking women, she was different.

And not that I love different, I just didn't feel that rush that other people felt. That kind of a fanatic expression just wasn't there. But then I moved on.

And then a few minutes later someone brought their baby along and I carried the baby, and it puked on my pants. The baby was cute but I'm not even gonna lie, that was my special slacks that I saved for 'there's gonna be cameras' occasions. And I just smiled painfully and gave the child back to the mother. I tried not to look at it, cuz I felt like puking myself.

I rushed to the bathroom and I felt some urgency. Maybe it's the tone of the lights or the running taps, I felt 'the urgency'. I just rushed into a bathroom, locked the door and slid those smelly pants down.

I turned around, to find myself in shock. I put a small 'oh' and raised my pants above. I stared into the soul of a random 20 year old woman who was, I'm not lying, staring right at my precious expensive undies. I was extremely uncomfortable but glad I went for the expensive and not-torn ones.

I wanted to say something, but none of us weren't saying anything. But one sure did, my urinary glands. No I didn't pee my pants but I would've, given a few seconds. My brain just wanted to send her out and my hands were struggling to raise the pants above cause unzipping them again would cost a few seconds that I wasn't ready to afford.

"Why is she staring at me....." I thought to myself.

And she came closer to me, and shifted her body sideways to cross me due to the lack of space in the cabin and let a "uh sorry I'll go" and I kissed her. That's it.

In my defense, I've never been in the same bathroom cabin without kissing someone. Iykyk. And.... I thought this was probably why she was in here in the first place, I've had fans try to kiss me before... And of all these defenses, I admit that is so not right to do to a person. Bad person.

So I kissed her and I'm not delusional or judging but she definitely slightly slid her tongue in and leaned forward. But then when it was over, "oh I'm straight." She said. Again not judging her.

Anyways I just hoped she would get the fuck out so I could pee in privacy. But this is where the weird part came. When I flushed and opened the door, she was outside.

She stood there outside my particular cabin with her hands tied "I'm sorry" SHE said. Like why.
"Nah it's alright." I said and watched her eyes go down. No not for pervy reasons, I had actually forgotten about that white liquid just smelling and hanging around the side of my beautiful brown Victorian aesthetical slack pants.

"Oh no this is not-" I said as I put a dry smile and hopped towards the tap and washed it.

"I wasn't standing there for you, but well yes but the door's lock ain't working and you looked like you were in a hurry so I made sure nobody barges in. That's it" she said.

I judged a lot of things about her, but talking a lot wasn't on my list.

"Oh thank you. You're a nice fan. Did- you pee properly cuz I-"

"Oh no I was done actually and I'm not a fan. Like no actually, I'm gifting the book to my fiance Martin. He's... It's our one year anniversary for like dating and he proposed yesterday and-"

"Oh. OH."

I could write a lot about her love life. Like a lot.

"Yes. That's why. You should attend our wedding."

I'm seeing an awful lotta weddings why. Is this maybe a sign?

"Sure" I said and waited while she struggled to pull out an invitation from her pocket that came out crumbled in the pressure.

She seemed tense the whole time. And then I went back and signed the rest of the line. I also met Martin. He was a nice guy.

---

I was at her wedding's dining hall. I ate till my stomach bursted cuz I felt as though emptying all the food was the most damage I could do to sabotage her marriage. I saw them come to eat and sit opposite to me.

He kept smiling and looking at her and when the food was placed he just took it in his hands and raised it upto her mouth. AND SHE ATE IT. I wasn't jealous at all because I knew she would never love HIM. Or any hims. But I was maybe a little jealous.

I stuffed the food and walked away. And within seconds she followed me. I walk-ran until there was nobody and turned around, "Piss off loser.." I screamed.

"Madhu it's not.... I.. wanna know if you're okay."

"No I'm fucking miserable.. Go and idk do wife stuffs to that loser
cuz honestly, he'll make a great L in your lesbian."

"Honey, respect."

"Oh fuck you bitch, I hope you fucking die a vir- just die"

But then she came closer and closer and grabbed my hand. "Baby, it's just a phase, it'll go away." She said and I couldn't believe it. I felt so betrayed.

I looked her eyes and calmed down. A single tear from my eyes and I asked her softly

"Was I just a phase to you?"

She looked at my eyes just shifting hers left and right, and I sensed her eyebrows raise a bit. "No." She said.
"you said we'll both be in the US together someday." I said softly with tears welling up.

"I wanted us to. But US didn't choose me. It won't save me. We're Indians. And this life would chase you no matter how far you run."

"I wouldn't have minded running far away with you" I said and looked straight in her eyes.

"Same."

And like the decent human being that I was, I leaned forward to kiss her and she pulled her head back. "But I'm... married...now.. bab- Madhu" she said and took her hands from me. I was so pissed off, that I walked away.

But obviously, I very much still loved her. And was adamant because at that point I watched too many fairytales to just not believe that was the end. I kinda wasn't going to give up.

And when you're adamant like this, life brings you moments and people such as her who just make you accept life.