Chennai Terminal || WLW Novel || Indian Sapphic

8. You still wanna go?

I wasn't feeling really good that day and I pretended I had classes and asked Nayan to pick me up. Nayan's parents didn't allow her but she somehow made them approve. She was waiting outside when she saw me.

"Are you ok?" She said as she brushed my cheeks.

"Oh, I'm fine" I mumbled to myself. Nayan began to say something but I just handed my bag and sat behind Nayan.

"Haan. I'll just drop you today. I- I have things to do." Nayan said as she smiled hesitantly. I smiled too but I seemed dull according to her, which I was.

"You want to go?"

"Yeah."

"So, you still wanna go?"

"Yes." I said looking down. I sat behind Nayan and she slowly started her bike.

I wanted to fight with her but I just decided to drop the plan because I was too sad to even speak. I just lied to her that I had classes that day.

After a long drive she dropped me at my classes.

She kept looking at me through the scooter's mirror and she was bothered. She couldn't concentrate on the road. I could tell she was worried that I worried.

I side eyed her . I looked at her through the window outside and waited till she left. The second she did, I came outside.

"That bitch." I whispered under my breath and frowned as I walk out of the classes. I then took a right turn and walked towards the beach.

I was kicking stones looking down on the verge of tears and I looked up. Nayan was there with her hands folded as she was leaning on the Vespa.

"I knew it." Nayan angrily yelled.

I stared at for a second... And then I ran.

"Stop biatch" Nayan screamed and followed me.

As I ran faster, tears overflowed my eyes and I couldn't run anymore.

Nayan tightly catched my collars and pulled me closer. "What happened?" she slowly whispered.

"You! Why would you do that to me?"

"Do what?" Nayan screamed totally not remembering that she was engaged to this man.

"Are you engaged?" I slowly questioned hoping that it would just be a lie or a rumour.

It hit Nayan. "yes."

I was angry as fuck. "You're a fucking loser. I hope your husband dies through idk a fucking snake bite." I screamed with my red face and tears.

"I wish he did too." Nayan slowly replied. After a long sigh she breathed and continued, "but no, that's not the right way to speak about an elder Madhu." And I was mad. I smirked and said "oh fuck off" and walked away.

"I'm sorry. I love you. But I'm sorry." Nayan replied and followed me down the beach.

"No. You just wanna hurt me. Hope you're happy with him." I said and flipped her off.

"Lies" I said with tears on my cheeks.

"I'm- he thinks women shouldn't be educated, he thinks he'll own me after our wedding"

"What the fuck are you even talking about?" I screamed and backed up a bit.

"I really wish I wasn't engaged to him. Really. I want to break things off with him. Really."

I stared, "Do it, then." I said.

The sky had turned gold and the beach looked orange.

"Okay" Nayan said. She returned back to get her bike. I wanted to go home and I can't without her. So I ran behind her.

"Wait for me! I still gotta go home".

Back at Suresh's, Nayan entered home with a dull face and there was a crowd. Guests. They were all staring at her smiling and she pointed out at her mother and said that she wanted to speak alone with her.

"Mummy... I've decided. I don't want this."

"The dress? We can find another. But it fits you better."

"No. The marriag-"

"What?" She gasps loudly.

"Khanna keep it with yourself. That's just absurd." she advised Nayan.

"But I-"

"I bet it's that girl you're visiting. Not right baby, don't go back there." she whispered.

"But I-"

"I get it Suresh isn't that good looking, but trust me he's the funniest guy one can meet. Girls really like that. Now see the sarees on your desk and choose one." she said and left.

Meanwhile everyone at my home were watching a film but I was just exhausted.

"Is it Nayana?"Madhavi akka whispered to my ears.

"Y- how did you?"

"We were friends. Once."

I was confused and overwhelmed. "I don't wanna talk about her now" I said and got up to my room.

I texted Nayan. "Did you tell?"

No reply.

"Ok let's end" I texted back.

The second I decided to place my phone down, a message arrived. "Yes."

I held my tears inside but they started to flow. Laughter noises from the living room made it easier for me to weep louder and no one could hear a thing. I tightly hugged my pillow and it got wet through my tears and drool.

I fell asleep after a while.

Back at Nayan's house, she was in the bathroom shaving her legs crying. The blade accidentally cut her legs. She cried and cried but just let it go.

"Nayan!" Suresh knocked the hell out of the door.

"Mommy said you're taking a little longer. Just... Take your time but.. come out"

"Mm." she said and poured the last mug of water on her, and wears a kurthi and came out.

"Sit." Suresh said and pointed to the sofa.
He smiled and then went to the kitchen to help his mum.

The mother in law came with a vessel and kept it down. As she bent she noticed blood stain on Nayan's pants but just sighed and went back.

Nayan goes to the kitchen, brings a water jug and places it besides the vessels and sits down.

Nayan's parents too sit to eat beside the mother in law and Suresh.

The floor leaves a stain as she presses her leg against it. And Suresh notices it.

"Oh my god Nayan" he screamed, got up and rushed and got first aid. He panickingly scrolled up her half white leggings and soaked cotton in the blood and takes out a Dettol bottle and cleans the wound and does first aid.

The parents all just watch him and smile. She had a straight face but deeply she felt disgusted by him touching her. He could never change my baby.

--
I'm not 19 anymore though. Sometimes I wonder if it's all my fault. I had the chance of backing off from her life. Yes I loved her, but love necessarily doesn't mean you have to end up with them. When you're hesitant to compromise, the world holds your head and makes you fucking bow.

Maybe she would've been happy if I wasn't in her life and if she has just married him. Or maybe I'm being idiotic right now, no one deserves to marry him.

Maybe I should stop typing in and start sleeping.