uuuhh its salvis

Travis has math homework and he ain't happy about it 😡

Travis tapped his pen on his bedside table attempting to find a solution in his math homework.
His nose curled at the boredom and the lack of change on his alarm clock.
He threw his head back and looked at the ceiling with an annoyed groan, then at is window, then back at his paper.

He leaned forward and sighed as he picked up his pencil.
20 minutes wasted away until he had completed his homework,
which he could only pray gave him a passing grade. If it didn't,well, he didn't want to think about what happened if he didn't.

As he closed his notebook, his thumb paused on a page that was misused.
There was no school notes or reminders, the page he paused on was a letter.
A draft.
One of many.

Paragraphs of tiny lettering spewed from his bleeding heart about the kid that sat behind him in class. He clenched his fist at the sight of it, dismissed it and put it in his book bag.
The time was now 8:30,
his school work was done and he finished his chores, all that's left is sleep.
In theory.
As Travis threw his tired self onto his bed and turned off his lamp, his brain was lecturing him, even as he clenched his eyes closed.
Slurs and insults or thrown at him in his dad's voice, screaming and mocking him for all the disappointment he brings.

And as the time moved forward and hours pass, his painful thoughts lull him to sleep. So much trouble just for some guy he can never be with.

Once his eyes itched from the dry sunlight, Travis rolled out of bed and wiped the drool from the corners of his mouth. He dressed himself in the same bland outfit as usual, just mixed and matched.
He wandered out of his room careful to avoid his father's room where he slept. He brushed his stupid teeth and combed his stupid hair ate some god-awful oatmeal and got ready for another terrible, worthless,
POINTLESS
Day.

As he walked to school that morning, all he could think of how to ignore that stupid conversation in the bathroom.

He had forced it out of his head until this point, his brain randomly repeating the sentences that guy said. The way he wasn't mad. The way he should have been. Every single word he said kicked him in his brain's nuts, but he said one thing plagued him more than the rest.

"If you need someone to talk to or if you need to get away from your dad for a while, you can hang out with me"

He has absolutely no idea
How painfully in love with him I am.

I know it's not right. I know it's not okay. I'll go straight to hell even considering it.
But from the bottom of my heart more than anything I've ever wanted, I want to be around him.