uuuhh its salvis

deciding your own value

There was 20 minutes before school starts.
The Halls were filled with every breed of Outcast and the few popular losers that use their shoulders to punt people unnecessarily into lockers.
The lower people were in the social food chain,
the faster you would hear the murmur to
there sparse assortment of equally screwed friends about whatever the rest of the world told them to shut up about.

It was a miserable and tired hallway as always, but with enough effort you could find people smiling,
Chatting excitedly,
And if you paid enough attention like Travis did, you would see peoples friendships and bonds evolve every glance you got.

'Not that I'm a stalker though'
He reminded himself.

He just happened to be bored enough to eavesdrop on other people's lives.
He filled his time with random people he had no affiliation with whatsoever, watching their actions reflect the exact people they are to those without bias.
Travis wondered if anyone looked at him like that.
If anyone analyzed and justified why he is the way he is.
The thought itself both comforted and terrified him.
Somebody knowing every shameful action he made. Every sin he committed.
Like the God he knew it was always watching.

He mentally kicked himself, not for a reason he could clearly identify,
He was just disappointed in himself.
For the boy he was. And now he was thinking about God, and once he starts thinking about God he feels terrible if he tries to stop.

Such a heavenly figure should bless his imagination should it not?

So why did the thought of his judgment make his knuckles go white?

...

He made plans for the next confessional.

If only his brain would follow its own rules, he wouldn't have these stressful hypocritical thoughts. This constant battle to prove to himself that he's right,
that he's on the right path.

But he's a good person

Right?

...

He hated that question.