la belle dame sans merci | carlisle cullen

52

Minerva was on a different plane of existence. All the pain, the fatigue, the anxiety had fallen to a dull hum. She was aware, distantly, that there was a conversation going on around her. Words came into focus now and again, things like blood, hospital and Bella but it was just noise.

Minerva hadn't killed anything but wildlife in twenty five years. It hadn't occurred to her that setting the pre-dismantled vampire ablaze would even count. Yet it did, it counted like a motherfucker and she could feel it. It was like volts of electricity were firing through her veins, dormant circuits coming back to life. Long forgotten cogs began to stutter into a steady turn, twisting away spiderwebs and dust.

It left her feeling bizarre, like she'd been dosed when she wasn't looking. It was a tingle creeping across her skin, stemming from the necklace that hung about her throat, practically vibrating behind her sweater. Everywhere it spread, goosebumps followed.

It had been an easy decision with difficult consequences to stop killing for Hecate. Easy to absolve herself of the guilt and monstrous feeling that followed but damn near impossible to let go of the feeling it gave her. Just because she'd ignored her appetites didn't mean it had disappeared, it was just waiting until she whet it again.

Though she was firmly rooted in her skin and finding a home in her bones once more, she couldn't feel further away from the dance studio. A hand on her shoulder nearly scared the new life out of her.

It was the bulky one who forgot the lighter, Emmet. "Are you good?" He asked gently. Sure, ten minutes ago she was clinging to life's coattails but now? Now, it was clinging to hers. She felt transcendent. "You've got kind of a Danny Phantom situation going on." Her brows furrowed and he gestured vaguely at his own eyes.

"Oh." Minerva blinked a few times, suddenly conscious of the fact she wasn't alone to experience this euphoria. She was certain every time her eyes closed it probably looked like when you press your hand over a flashlight, just barely concealing the light. "I'm fine." She managed to respond evenly, though her voice felt a bit disembodied from herself. "It just happens when I'm near death."

The witch went out of her way to avoid the look that came across Carlisle's face from where he crouched next to Bella. It was a distraught expression, his mouth falling the slightest bit open and a distinct set of worry lines appearing between his furrowed brows.

She was annoyed to find herself a little remorseful for the white lie. They'd lied to her enough, after all. Besides it wasn't a total lie, maybe half a lie. Her eyes and even her skin told the state she was in. The arcane would kick into overdrive, encapsulate every cell to bring her back from any vicinity to the brink. This, however, was on the opposite side of that spectrum. This was an infusion, a divine gift in return for her sacrifice. It wouldn't be so bright if her body wasn't being tugged in two different directions, stuck somewhere between divine intervention and divine satisfaction.

"Okay." Alice said clapping her hands together around a lighter between her palms, "So we'll tie up the loose ends and make the cover story a reality," She said decidedly, "And then the four of us will head back to Forks."

Minerva felt a distinct need to find the nearest wall to smash her head into. She was more than ready to say goodbye to Pheonix and never come back. Further, she was ready for a break from the Cullen clan and all the chaos that followed them. She hadn't been listening to know exactly what 'loose ends' entailed, nor did she really care. She wanted to go home.

"Minerva, can you do fire that's not.. so bizarre looking?" Alice asked as Edward gathered Bella up in his arms, her head lulling back in his arms. Minerva felt like she conjure the sun into the room if she put her mind to it.