High on Love- {Sequel to Kidnapped}

Finish what you've started. - 6

EMILYS POV. 

I could hear someone at the door, and I slowly opened my eyes. I was half sleeping. I got surprised when I saw Taylor in the doorway. "it's uhmm." she mumbled, and closed the door behind her. She walked over to me, sat on the bed beside me. She looked really bad actually. 

"Emily.." she almost whispered. 

To be honest, I started getting a bit scared. She usually wasn't like this. What was happening? 

"Taylor?" I looked her in her eyes, and I wasn't sure, but I think I saw...pain? 

"I need to tell you something." she exhaled and took my hand. "This morning. I got a phone call from your aunt. She needed to tell me something about...about your mom." she looked away, and I could see her eyes got filled up with tears. "Emily... your mom....she - last night, she passed away. She were in a car accident - after she drank, she stole a cab and headed home, but she must have fallen a sleep or something,, they still haven't figured out what happened - but she crashed into another car. The person in the other car, died immediately, and your mom died this morning." she looked at me again. "I'm so sorry Em.." 

The feelings inside me...the feeling inside me....I can't describe them, cause I didn't have any feelings inside me. I was ... empty. When she said that my mom passed away, that she were gone, when she said that sentence; this invisible person kicked me in my head, and every thing disappeared. - every thought I had, every feeling I felt. Everything were gone. There was nothing left. But I could feel one thing inside me. Only one thing. 

Anger. 

I was angry at myself. I had spent two years with the boys, and I didn't visit my mom one single time. Two years! Instead of partying with the boys, I could have visited my mom. Instead of sitting home alone while the boys were in the studio, instead of shopping, instead of doing a lot of fucking stuff, I could have visited my mom. But I didn't.  

Even though I felt like she loved the alcohol more than me, and even though she spent more time with the alcohol instead of me, I still felt like she loved me just as much as I loved her. Even though we didn't show each other how much we loved each other, I was sure that the love still was there. Mother and daughter love. 

I looked at Taylor, I wasn't crying. "When is the funeral?" My voice was hoarse. 

"In two days." I nodded at her answer. "I'm really sorry ab...-" 

"Please, just leave me alone." I cut her off. "Can I please get to be alone?" 

She looked at me for a second, before she stood up, and walked out of the room and closed the door behind her. I exhaled and tried to think clear. 

'Okay, what just happened?'

It was like my brain slowly started to realize what just happened. The tears started streaming down my face. I threw myself on the bed. I hugged my pillow and cried in silence. 

The worst thing was, that I needed a hug. I needed one of those hugs, where, when the person hugs you, you feel so safe. Like nothing can ever hurt you. One of those hugs, where, the world stops, and you don't need anything else than that hug. I needed one of those hugs, the ones you fell asleep in the persons arms. The one where you don't want to let go. I needed one of those hugs, where I could cry my lungs out, while the person stroke my back, kissed my hair and said that 'everything will be alright'. I needed one of those hugs, but that one special hug, that only a mother can give you. 

But worst of all was that I knew that I could never get one of those hugs again. No matter what. 

I closed my eyes and wished. I wished that I could hug my mom one last time and say goodbye. I wished I could look her in her eyes and tell her how sorry I was that I never visited her, and that no matter what, that I still loved her.