Silent Emily

One Bite

The morning came quick and Axel shook me up.

New Years.

The days, weeks and months were different around here. Christmas was several weeks ago, maybe months at this point. I don't think Axel used a calendar, I never saw one around the house. I think he just went off whenever he felt it right to be a holiday.

The flutters in my belly started immediately and I ran to the bathroom to throw up. Axel came up behind me, kneeling next to me by the toilet as he pulled my hair out of my face and held it behind my head. I found myself staring at him and he smiled. His teeth were perfect, white and straight. I really looked at him, searching his features.

Axel was extremely attractive. He had the same green eyes as the twins, his hair was short and dark and his body was muscular and tall. He used his free thumb to rub my cheek as I looked back into the toilet bowl dry heaving.

After a few minutes it slowed down and I sat on the floor by Axel. He turned with me, his arm sliding around my waist as he pulled me into him. He smelled of cedar and something sweet that I couldn't place.

"Are you okay Emily?" He asked me. I nodded as I put my head against his chest. I felt his eyes on me as his other arm fell across my belly. His fingers rubbed in little circles.

He pulled his arm from around my waist after a bit, putting a finger under my chin and turning my head so I was looking at him. He placed his lips on mine kissing me slowly. I returned the kiss and I felt the grin on his lips. We sat there like that for a moment before he pulled away from me. He stood up, holding out a hand for me. I slid my fingers into his and he pulled me up.

"Better get to work."

~

Axel, Ethan and Felix came in from outside a few hours later. I had dinner reheating in the oven and all of three of them took a long smell when they opened the door.

"That smells heavenly mother." Ethan said, taking his place at the table. My belly hurt as I thought of the man.

He was cooking in my oven.

I shook my head as I made my way off the couch and into the kitchen. I turned the oven off and removed the large pan from it. The lasagna smelt amazing but I couldn't get the image of him out of my mind. I cut little pieces on the plates for the kids before I made Axels. He got a much bigger portion. I filled glasses with water and handed them out before sitting next to Axel at the table.

I stared at the plate in front of me. My stomach turned as the blood from the man on the hook appeared before me. I shook my head again and watched the kids scoop the meal into their mouths.

The man wasn't hard to cut up. He was easier than the girl had been and I treated it like beef. I put it in a skillet and ground it up into tiny pieces before I layered the noodles, homemade sauce that was in the fridge and the goat cheese that Felix made into the pan.

I felt Axel's eyes on me. I refused to return the look.

I knew what he was waiting for.

I picked my fork up and cut a small section of the lasagna away from the rest. I stabbed it gently and stuck it in my mouth. I had to force myself to chew and swallow.

I hated myself for liking it.

It didn't taste very different than any of the usual meats and I kept shaking my head to ignore the images of the man on the hook.

The man I had killed.

Flashes of police sirens and uniforms flashed around me as I closed my eyes.

Surely they wouldn't blame me for his death.

He had scared me and Axel, Ethan and Felix were making me do it.

God, I'm such a weak bitch now.

I turned my head to peek at the door behind the table.

I could run. I could make it.

Kentucky couldn't be that bad right?

I leaned back in the chair and rubbed my hand over my belly. It was becoming comforting to do so. I knew in a couple months I would be able to feel little kicks.

Axel had lied to me before. First we were in Virginia and now in Kentucky. The place didn't look like Chicago but maybe we were close. A neighboring state or something. I wouldn't ask. I knew what would follow a stupid question like that.

When everyone finished I did the dishes with Axel. He dried while I washed. I didn't hate doing the dishes, we often stood in silence as we did them. It was fairly peaceful.

Once that was finished Axel led me up to the bedroom we shared and we crawled under the covers. He pulled me onto his arm and we laid nose to nose in the dark. His hand reached for my face and he swirled his thumb around on my cheek like he usually did.

He was definitely beautiful.

I put my hands on his chest as my head fell on his arm. He smiled down at me before placing a soft kiss on my nose.

"You only took a small bite at dinner," He whispered. "Why's that?"

I was thankful Axel wasn't extremely forceful. I liked that he let me go at my own pace but I knew eventually he would expect me to eat the meat without a complaint.

"The baby just isn't that hungry lately." I responded. He seemed satisfied with that answer and he rolled back over. His breathing became slow and deep. I scratched his back with my nails, writing my name with the invisible ink over and over again.

Emily.

I pulled my hand back and turned the other way so our backs faced one another.

I couldn't fall for Axel.

I couldn't stay here.

Axel was disgusting. He ate people.

I brought my hands up my face, cupping them together as my head sat on them. I fell asleep.