Silent Emily

Valentines

I walked up the porch, opening the front door and not caring to close it behind me. I made my way up the stairs, clinging to the banister as all the pain I had previously been ignoring for Anne rushed up my body.

I opened my bedroom door, smiling at Ivy who still sat with Beth in her arms. They looked so similar. Ivy was a precious child, her and Atticus both.

I didn't want Beth raised here. I didn't want to raise these three sweet children in a house full of rage and murder. It wasn't fair.

I wanted to get them out.

I hated everything. This house. Axel. Ethan and Felix. I even hated Anne for lying to me. For telling me these stories of her two girls and her shitty baby daddy who got custody. Her kisses, her touch.

I scooped Beth out of Ivy's arms. The little girl smiled up at me. She slid off the bed and her mouth widened for a moment when her eyes landed on my legs.

Anne's blood was still fresh on my skin, more cold than warm now but I was covered nonetheless.

"I'll get a rag." Ivy said, half running out of my room. She returned a moment later with a wrung out rag in her hands. I took a seat on the bed, being careful to not let the bloody skin make contact with the comforter. It wouldn't have mattered. Blood covered the fabric, the floor.

The room really needed cleaned up.

Beth whined in my arms and I pulled one sleeve of my dress down, pulling out my breast and ushering her toward it. Her tiny mouth latched onto my nipple as she quieted. Her hand smacked my chest with dull thumps.

Ivy ran the rag over my legs, the red color turning into a pink as she cleaned off the remnants of Anne.

"Is she dead?" Ivy asked. Her eyes didn't move from my legs.

"I think so."

I didn't want to scar the child. She was pure in this horror festival she lived in.

Ivy nodded and continued to clean my legs until my skin was free of the blood. She stood up, walking out of the room and closing the door behind her. I stared back down at Beth, her head full of dark hair running every which way on her scalp. Her eyes were closed as she drank from my body, her weight filling my arms.

I looked out the window at the tree line and memories of running through the woods flowed through my brain. The sharp rocks and the creek. Axel, Ethan and Felix chasing me as if I were a deer and they were hunters. Axel dragging me back by my hair, my arms flailing in the mud that he walked through.

I wanted to get away. Needed to get the children out of the house. At least Beth, Ivy and Atticus. Ethan and Felix were too far gone. Too groomed by Axel to be saved.

~

The sun shrank over the side of the tree line as night fell outside.

I heard the front door open and close as the boys came back inside. Ethan and Felix were laughing about something and I knew it was something to do with Anne.

I dreaded Axel coming into the room as his loud footsteps echoed up the stairs. He pushed the door open, entering the room with a mop, bucket of soapy water and some rags. Cora was behind him with new sheets and a large pink comforter. Her eyes were red and her face was splotchy.

She had been crying. Probably over Anne.

Cora and Anne had had a close relationship. I never understood why but I never asked either. Cora was the opposite of Ivy, very lonesome and quiet. She was never disrespectful or anything to me, more like we just didn't talk. She stepped into the room behind Axel, laying the comforter and sheets on the bed away from the blood before walking back out. Axel closed the door behind her, dipping the mop into the water and slashing it onto the floor. The red turned a strange pink as he wiped it up.

Once that was done and the floor was as clean as it could get, he moved over to Beth and I. The infant was fast asleep in my arms and Axel pulled me up by my arms, putting me on my feet on the ground.

He ripped the comforter off the bed, pulling it together until the blood was hidden underneath the large ball. Next he did the sheets until just the bare mattress was shown. My blood had soaked through but not too bad. He added the new clean sheets over it before topping it off with the comforter.

We didn't say anything to each other as he went out the door with the cleaning supplies. Once I was sure he was downstairs, I opened the bedroom door and headed for the nursery. I flipped the switch overhead so the light filled the room as I stepped toward Beth's crib. I laid her down in it, her little body covered in a pink and white sleeper than Axel had brought home from one of his town visits. She brought one of her thumbs up to her mouth and suckled it, rolling onto her side but still staying asleep.

I went back out of the room, closing the door partially and making my way back to my own. I stepped onto the wood and saw Axel sitting on the bed.

He smiled when he saw me, patting the space next to him. A plate full of food sat on the bedside table and my mouth watered. I heard my stomach grumble and I realized I hadn't eaten since before I had Beth.

I crossed the space between us, sitting next to him on the bed. Axel through one of his arms around me, the familiar scent of cedar and sweetness filling one nostril while the food filled the other. With his free hand, he gripped the plate and brought it over to me.

The pasta smelled amazing as he handed me a fork, sliding it into my hand. I stared at it for a moment before smiling back up at him.

I hated him but a part of me loved him for the food.

My belly growled again as I shoveled forkfuls of it into my mouth. The sauce was delectable and the noodles soft and warm.

I ate it all quickly, not leaving time to savor it. I wanted more but I didn't want to give Axel the satisfaction of knowing it was good.

"Did you like it?" He asked, taking the empty plate and fork from my hands and sitting it back on the bedside table.

I forced myself to nod although it wasn't that forced. I loved pasta and it was good but I didn't want him to think I really, really enjoyed his meal.

"I'm glad. I used the leftover sauce you left from last time in the fridge with the noodles from town. I put it in the oven while I cleaned the room for you. I'll cook the next few days so you can rest. I'm sure you're sore."

I nodded again and patted my belly. The stitches burned as I did so and I crawled over to my side of the bed by the window. Axel stood up, smiling down at me. His face was gorgeous in the setting light.

"Did she suffer?" I asked suddenly. The question didn't shock Axel and he shook his head.

"One hit and done. I buried her by the pig pen."

I thanked him as he leaned down and placed a kiss on the top of my head. He pulled back, grabbing the plate off the side table and heading toward the door.

"Rest now Emily. I'll care for Beth tonight and only wake you when she needs to eat. I'll go into town in a few days and buy a pump for you."

"Thank you Axel." I whispered. My eyes felt heavy as I turned to face the window so my back was toward him.

"Oh Emily?" He asked. I didn't turn toward him as he continued. "Happy Valentine's day."