This is the gate of heaven.
Fallen trees.
You
Wasted so much time
Chasing my trails,
You forgot about yourself.
I
Cannot feel for you—
Cannot feel you
anymore.
That place in my mind
No longer tempts me
with the idea of space
and holding that—
For you
Would never find me
In that loophole of despair
The place we used to rot together.
I have forgotten your name.
I have forgotten your name.I have forgotten your name.I have forgotten your name.I have forgotten your name.I have forgotten your name.
Dead memories.
How do you surrender
To a story that is already written?
Everything becomes a necromancy of fate...
Maybe it is not written yet.
A pattern emerges from the past
But it is not the same,
We are not the same.
I am not
The same.
As I was before,
Patient for my time to surrender,
Worrying about missing the window. . .
Why have I waited for something
I could have chosen at any time?
As I am now
Surrendered.
The paths I have followed
To get here
Are not me,
I am not my choices
My opinions,
I am not even my thoughts.
I am nothing
No one
Everything, everyone—
All at once.
I do not wish to be haunted
Chaos.
The ghosts of my past
Are so desperate to see me fail.
And I have become confused
By what it means to have an ego.
I want to throw all my flowers into the sea
So that I might realize
That I am just a human
Learning how to be—
Learning the word:
alive.
I am devoted
To myself—
To these thoughts I have when the sun leaves the sky.
And I wonder,
How badly these goblins
Crave the taste of my soft skin.
I wonder,
How desperate these vampires are
To really know death.
And I wonder,
If they will ever know emotion
As i have come to know mine.
I wonder this,
And some thought still leads me to you.
I wonder if you have any answers for me
I wonder if,
You remember that. . .
I am devoted-
Mercy.
There can be none.
From lead to hold,
Light to dark to light again, hate to love—
Ignorance becomes acceptance, as misery transforms to integrity,
Pain turns to strength,
Knowledge, experience becomes wisdom.
Justice.
Perseverance—
Perspective.
An unordinary occurrence,
