Not All Men Dance With Dragons

...If It Can Stomach You

There were many times over the years when Jorran imagined what life would be like if he abandoned everything and ran away.

He imagined it would be rather easy. Change names, pay for a ship in advance, and choose somewhere far enough away that no one would care who he was before. It wasn't as though his father would notice he was gone until years down the line when someone mentioned Jorran's name in passing. He would search for his second son and find all corners of the realm empty of him. Jorran imagined the look in his father's eyes then, his brother's. What if the son and brother they scorned vanished? Would they care?

Over time, that group of prospective mourners grew larger. Maerys, Borin, and Nyla. Maybe even others of the royal family who had known him so long that they can't imagine Maerys' side unfilled by his knight. He knew they would care. He knew it would hurt something awful but that didn't stop him from throwing what he could carry over the back of his horse and taking off down the Goldroad the night after his talk with Borin.

He would go west for home first to gather anything not tied down. There would be plenty of time considering that, by morning, he was near enough to the border of the Crownlands that no household guards would be able to track him. There was nothing but clear roads and trees for as far as his eyes could see.

It was odd then when the sky suddenly went dark overhead but he had enough of his wits about to duck off of his horse before the column of fire erupted in the road ahead of him. He hit the grass and rolled. His horse freaked the second it saw the fire, rearing up with a sharp whinny to toss half of Jorran's belongings off into the dirt with him.

The heat hit him like a fist as he watched his horse gallop full speed off into the woods, making his lip curl before an entire dragon slammed into the ground beside him. Casiran roared, shaking the ground as he approached the knight swiftly and forcing him to stand when he stopped mere feet away. The stinking heat of the dragon's breath felt like the sun burning his visible skin as he huffed out in anger.

"Ser Jorran." From the back of the beast, a white-haired prince rose and his rage matched his monster's as he glared down at the knight. "You are sworn to me. To guard my back and defend my honor. You broke your oath-"

"Maerys, I can't do it!" Jorran cried out. The sounds of the dragon between them died out in the knight's overwhelmed ears as Jorran's panic overtook him. He slid down into the dirt and tried to focus on breathing air into his lungs but the burn made tears prick at his eyes. "I can't be thrown away again! I can't-!"

"Stop, stop, stop-" One second the dark was closing in and the next, hands were closing around his face. Jorran didn't remember seeing Maerys dismount. "Why would I throw you away? What are you talking about? Would a child change that much-?"

"Yes because I- I can't-"

"Can't what?" Maerys urged.

"I killed my nephew."

The world went still as he waited for a reaction and all he got was the same pitying face. Those soft purple eyes welling with confusion instead of horror or disgust. It was as though Maerys had known all along but he couldn't. The only people that knew Gemmy was alive had kept the secret out of fear or horror or whatever. Maerys couldn't have known.

"My idiot brother knocked up a whore... he told my father. I killed-" His voice trembled. "I-I took the babe outside the city. I let the waves have him."

Maerys shook his head, looking between each of Jorran's pale eyes. "Why... would your evil father change how I feel about you?"

The knight began to squirm against the hold on his face. He managed to yank himself free with a jerk and take several grounding steps back. He needed space. That was the whole reason he left. "No- No. He threw me away. We haven't spoken since but I didn't care because I had you. If I don't have you..."