𝐃𝐄𝐏𝐑𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐃

18

HER PREY

"Lowen, where are we?" I asked carefully. I admit, maybe I was a bit of a fool. Lowen had readily forgave me and been all buddy buddy with me even after she found out that me and Dylandra had messed around. Maybe all this time shit hadn't been as sweet as it seemed. Maybe she actually had it out for me all along and now it was taking me until now to see that.

"We're going to a club, Casei," she revealed.

"A club...why?" I asked.

"You shared something with me tonight, so I'll share something with you," she stated.

"What did I...share?" I wondered out loud.

She seemed kind of lost at what to say as we pulled into the parking lot of a very active club. People walked between cars, some heading out and some heading in. The moon was high, and so was everyone underneath it.

"You showed me where you come from and what you deal with. Now, I'm doin' a bit of the same," she told me. "C'mon, get out."

"We're goin' inside? I thought we were goin' to Naryna's," I said, getting out and, on a split second decision, deciding to bring my notebook with me.

"We're goin' 'round back actually. We're goin' to go and see my mom," she told me weakly, shaking her hands and tightening them back into fists. She looked over at me, holding out her arm, "Ready?"

I only nodded, not even sure if I was.

Maybe my mom wasn't trying to be an ass and had gotten some sort of 'mother intuition' that I shouldn't come out tonight and this shit was probably why.

We went around back near the dumpsters. A few guys were leaned against the building smoking. This was the only building for a few miles, all around us was trees and grass; just lots waiting to be sold to new people. The building was probably as big as your typical library, and it was two stories high. I was so busy marveling at it that I missed the lady walking up to us.

"Lowen, why are you here?" the woman asked, holding her heels in her hands and sporting a rubbed-off makeup look. The rest of it appeared to be on her hands and forearms but it was so dark outside that I couldn't tell if it was truly makeup or bruises.

"It's time to go home, Mom. You know Dad's probably worried," Lowen murmured, wrapping an arm around the lady's waist.

"He's probably worried about whatever bitch has his mind occupied," the woman spat out.

"He's not cheatin' on you. I promise it," Lowen told her quietly, like this was a line she had recited time and time again. "He's just real busy at work and tired of you yellin' at him all the time. Come home with me, and you can Uber to get your car another day."

"We have jobs to do. Nobody cares about the parents suffering at work. It's always...the kids are stressed this, the kids are stressed that," the woman ranted. I awkwardly walked alongside them, trying to keep up with her fast talking. "Let me tell you something! I wish I didn't have any kids! I wish I didn't have to work myself to the bone because I made one mistake when I was a young girl. With a man...with a boy I thought I loved!"

Lowen's face read nothing as the lady talked.

Those words have to hurt though. I hear similar enough ones at my own home to know the way they sting like the blade out of a razor, and the scars never fade because everyone needs a little bit of love to heal themselves.

"So I drink, so what? I can't go out, Lowen?"

"You can, Mom."

"I should've," the lady shook her head, "Man, I should've did it."

"I'm a good kid...I don't give y'all trouble," Lowen told her quietly.

"I don't care!" the lady stomped. "I don't care!"

Lowen got her into the passenger seat as the lady started to sob. I got into the back behind Lowen, silent and watching.

"I try to make up for all of your childhood I missed working my behind off," the woman laughed, hiccuping, "And you still hate me for it, Lowen, you do. And I know it."

"I don't hate you, mommy," Lowen whispered.

"You do! You act like a brat because you are one!"

"You hate me."

The woman only scoffed, "Do I?"

Lowen tensely drove, heading to her neighborhood.

I didn't know what to think about all this. I guess...the club had been on the way so Lowen thought this was the best idea...to drop her mom off home before we went to Naryna's?

"Day after day, hard working. Food on the table. Nice house and a no good husband and daughter. I guess this is a woman's dream."

"I only wanted affection from you," Lowen told her.

"I give it now!" the woman shouted in her face.

A sound repeatedly dinged in the vehicle. I hadn't even realized that Lowen's mother had never put a seatbelt on.

"I needed it back then," Lowen told her quietly. "You have no idea what I do just to...feel something. To feel anything."

"Drop me off home. And when we get there make me something for my headache," the woman dismissed her with her hand.

We pulled up in their driveway and Lowen got out.

No other car's were there so I guess her father wasn't home after all.

She gently helped her mother down out of the Jeep and lead her into the house. I didn't know whether to stay inside or to go in. I sat there, my notebook in my lap, alone in the Jeep with its many shadows, in the dead of night. After a moment, I put my notebook down and got out the vehicle. I jogged up to the large house, not stopping to marvel at it, as I went up to the front door.

It was cracked, and I slowly headed up the stairs, hearing some voices coming from there.

Should I have waited in the car? How much of Lowen's life did she want me to see? Because if she thought she had seen all of mine tonight then she was sadly mistaken.

I tip toed up the stairs and carefully peered through a doorway. It was her parent's room, I could tell, by the size of it. Lowen had her drunk mother laid on the bed and she was dabbing her face with a cold or warm face towel.

I breathed as quietly as I could, about to turn away.

This moment felt so intimate for them.

Lowen's mother reached her hand up to her daughter's face, rubbing her cheek softly then brushing her thumb across her lips.

"Mom, why do you do this? Why don't you go to counseling?" Lowen asked quietly, bringing her mom's hand down.

The woman didn't say anything and Lowen helped her out of her clothes. "I'll go and get your robe," she offered, "so you won't be cold."

"No," her mom grabbed her thigh. "Come here."

Lowen held the towel meekly between her hands as her mother pulled Lowen over her resting body.

"Mom?" Lowen stared down at her unsurely, leaning over her mother.

Her mother pushed her daughter's head down slowly to lay Lowen's head on her chest. Lowen kissed her cheek, then the corner of her mouth, before getting out of the bed.

I watched them from the doorway, feeling a mixture of emotions; mostly confusion.

The woman closed her eyes, falling asleep as she curled up on her bed.

"Any type of affection...you could give me any, and I'd want it, because you're my mommy," she whispered. "But you give me none."

I looked away, carefully making my way down the stairs, my breath shaky as I left the house.

I should have stayed in the car.

And now if I ask to go back home, Lowen will know what I saw.

I guess...I gotta see this shit through.