If We Lasted Forever | BOOK 2 ✔️

30 | seconds away

"Are you scared of what's to come?"
- Broken by Isak Danielson
____________________________

Caleb Aron Carpenter

I couldn't get our conversation out of my head. The new information, the anger - it was all too much.

I promised to visit my cousins again and they said they will also stop by our place more often. It was easier to be around them. At home I had a reason to constantly worry. I don't blame Elijah for how he is handling all this but sometimes it can get a bit much. Especially considering we all are going through it. If only he talked and actually attended therapy.

Elijah actually went to therapy when Kie ran away and it was all fine. But Elaine is new so that could be making him uneasy. Or maybe he is just scared to talk about it. Maybe he is still in denial.

I arrive home to a quiet house. Elijah has descended back into his room, God knows when I'll see him again.

Kiara's friends have dropped by quite a lot. Lorenzo keeps a distance out of embarrassment, Michael, William and Leonardo tried to offer us their best support. Even Luke and Hans have been very present. I'm convinced that Luke still loves Kiara, in his own fucked up way. He beat cancer for a reason.

"Elijah!" I yell. I want to get him used to walking around the house more. It could help him with handling all of this bullshit.

Slow stomps echo from the stairs. He isn't very hyped to see me it seems. "I'm back. Also I think you should go tomorrow" I say to him. He gives me a numb look before shrugging his shoulders.
"Elaine really helps you find exactly what is hurting the most and she helps you firstly accept it" I explain to him to hopefully make him more hyped to go.

He will be going anyway but I don't want him to feel like we forced him and then stay silent during the whole thing as an act of protest.

These two were stubborn and just because one died doesn't mean the other will stop. It's called a personality and it takes a shit ton of stuff to change it.

"Okay" he just says before turning around and returning to his cave of a room.

I don't know how long we can do this all for. We have been through this before in some ways. It's not new for her to just be gone except this time she is 99% dead. That 1% being that there was no body.

The police did warn us that in cases like this, the bodies may never be found even if they are there.

I want her to be alive but all this suffering isn't worth it. At this point it would be easier on all of us if they just found her body. And if they found her alive...that would be worse. That would mean that she let us suffer. She is inhuman and she let us suffer.
For now we don't know. And I personally am tired. Tired of thinking about her every minute of every day. I loved my sister but I can't play this game. So for our sake I hope she is dead for good and this isn't another game.

Elijah Atlas Carpenter

I don't feel the need for a therapist. When I went to one last time it didn't work. It was a waste of time. I lied to everybody saying it was good because frankly I don't want to hurt a therapist's feelings. Yet I don't feel any better. I didn't and I won't now.

I can tell her how awful it was to lose my twin but it's nothing new. Truly I lost her the minute she got extremely ill. Because when a person loses herself you lose her too. And I lost her.