A Monster's Diary.

Entry 3.

Tw: uh- daddy issues???, F and T slur, talk of drugs, abuse, murder. Yuh 😻

How dare you.

How fucking dare you. You weren't there for more than seven years. I watched you from behind glass. I barely even knew you, the only thing i had were stories and the faintest memories. The stories of you beating my sister, trying to murder my mother, and kidnapping me.

I always kinda knew you were on drugs, even as a young child. I was always exposed to that lifestyle, with my mother, sister, and all. I remember just wondering why you didn't want me, why you left me with that woman. You barely even called, and your letters made me sick.

You didn't step up until she died. I needed you to be there for me, but you were too blinded by your bigoted way of thought, because GOD FORBID your perfect little princess is a f♡ggot and a tr♡nny. Just because you got sober and were christian doesn't mean you are forgiven for what you've done and are still doing.

The ONLY fucking time you see me is when I've done something wrong, refuse mental help bc all i need is to "pray", and are constantly forcing your beliefs upon me. I can never make you proud no matter how hard i try. So please, tell me how I'm such a terrible daughter, how i need god, how I'm so mean to you, when ALL I EVER DO IS TREAT YOU WITH RESPECT WHEN YOU GIVE ME NONE. You always have to be right, never admit you can be wrong, and never apologize. You are so controlling and selfish. You are a narcissist.

News flash, MONEY IS NOT A APOLOGY. I just want you to love me for me. I just want to be able to love you, but, you make it so fucking hard. I wish I could be who you want me to be, but it'd kill me. It is killing me.

I don't deserve what you do to me.