Meant To Be

Everybody Talks

Yeah, I might have got her number

Yeah, I see her every night

Doesn't matter if she calls me

I just need her to kiss me back

- Kiss Me Back, from FOUR's first album, Nights Like These

There are some moments that you just know will stay with you forever.

As the plane begins its descent in Heathrow, the sun illuminates the city, the roofs and roadways sparkling with last night's rain.

Everything feels like a movie. Everything feels like I'm remembering it already, because I know one day I will look back on this. Because somewhere, down there, Holland is waiting for me.

This is one of those moments that will stay with me forever.

I caved, finally, and let Holland pay for my flights. I don't know why it feels so weird. But he sort of rationalized it by saying we're not spending little bits of money on each other because we're so far away.

(Also, I really wanted to see him, and it's not like I could afford it, let's be real here.)

I hold my breath through the turbulence as we land. I'm not afraid of flying, but I don't think there's anyone who especially likes the bumpy feeling as you land.

It's almost a relief to step onto the pavement, the light rain misting my face, but also, I'm getting more and more nervous by the second. I'm not sure if there are ever optimal circumstances under which to reunite with your super famous long distance boyfriend who you've only ever met once in person before, but just stepping off a long flight probably isn't close to the ideal conditions.

I've got idea what I look like, but I suspect it's a bit of a mess. As short as my hair is, it's gonna definitely be flat on one side or squished weird from leaning against the seat, I smell like airplane, and I haven't slept in what feels like forever.

I don't think Holland will care. After all, he was just on a world tour, and we definitely face timed when both of us weren't looking our best. But still.

I think being nervous about the way I look is just me hiding my deeper nerves, which are about more unchangeable things. Like my personality. Like whether his family will like me. It's one thing having face times and phone calls and texting, it's another to actually be around someone.

What if we meet again in person and it turns out we actually have no chemistry? What if our day on the beach was just some moment-in-time, surreal fluke? What if neither of us are actually those people who seemed to hit it off so easily?

I'm in the customs line now and I have to calm down, because at this rate I'm gonna look nervous enough that they'll pull me aside. And I know I'm being ridiculous and just psyching myself out. We had that day on the beach. We have chemistry. We know each other.

I know Holland. And we promised each other.

I know it's gonna be fine. I know that. Someone just needs to tell that to my brain.

I make it through customs fine - obviously - and make my way past the baggage area. I didn't have any checked bags as I'm only going to be here for less than a week - I managed to fit everything into a carry on.

It takes me a second to spot the sign with MARTIN spelled out in big, black block letters. Obviously Holland couldn't come and meet me here, not if we didn't want it splashed all over the Internet in a matter of minutes.

I don't know the woman holding the sign, but she gives me a friendly smile and takes my bag.

"You must be Cass," she says, and it's a sign of how tired I am that her accent throws me for a loop for a second.