Meant To Be

Back For You

'cause you are the best of everything broken 

i'll never let you go 

and we are the time that we've stolen 

so let's never let this go 

- All I Want, from FOUR's fourth album, Already Gone 

It feels like time slows down. In that moment, his eyes locked on mine, I feel like I've never been closer to someone - which is ridiculous, because he's literally on a stage performing to tens of thousands of people right now.

I'm vaguely aware of Maggie and Anya on either side of me, grabbing my arms and screaming, but it's all blocked out by him. Sweaty, disheveled, fucking glowing up on that stage, white t-shirt slipping down to reveal one of his tattoos, mic gripped tightly in his hand.

He smiles, just a quirk of his lips, and I smile back. "Hi!" I yell, as loud as I can manage, as Anya practically collapses to my right.

He keeps his eyes on me as he finishes singing the opening to All I Want, and I scream along as loudly as I can, smiling stupidly wide. He finishes his line and gives me a thumbs up before running to the other side of the stage, just in time to collide with Ever as his part starts.

"Oh. My. God!!!" Maggie screams.

"He was looking right at you!"Anya says, right in my ear. "What the heck!"

I can only grin and squeeze their hands, screaming along to the lyrics. I find out, somewhere during the blur, that Anya's sign says "I'm ALL YOU WANT" done in impressively eye-catching glitter lettering. (I'm not sure what she thought I'd object to. Maybe the fact that it's basically the size of a billboard. Maybe the staggering amount of glitter she used. Seriously. It's all over me.)

The rest of the concert passes by in an insane haze of screaming my lungs out and making eye contact with Holland any chance I get. Which is, admittedly, kind of a lot. Like not a lot lot, but still, he seems to gravitate to our side of the stage, and he looks at me whenever he can.

I can only hope that it's not like, super obvious, but Maggie and Anya put a stop to that belief as soon as FOUR has left the stage and the screaming's quieted down just enough that we can sort of speak in full sentences to one another.

"Oh my god," Anya says. "That was insane!!!" She jumps up and down, still holding on to my arm.

Maggie has a sort of shell shocked look on her face, Anya's sign dangling from one hand. "I know we joked about one of them seeing you and falling in love, Cassie, but I think Holland actually might have," she says.

"Um, yes!" Anya says. "He was looking right at you during All I Want. He sang that whole verse like, directly too you. And he kept looking at you."

"I know," I say. "I mean, I don't know - the other times he could have been like, looking behind us. Maybe there was a really interesting sign or something."

"Girl, no," Maggie says. "He was looking at you."

We're walking, now, making our way out of the stadium and into the cool night air. There's something niggling at my stomach, some feeling that I know all too well. I have to tell them. I have to.

I suck in a deep breath. "I - I have to tell you guys something. But you have to promise not to be weird about it, and you have to double promise not to tell anyone."

"Okay?" They both say. We've walked far enough from the stadium that there aren't as many people. I lead them to a bench on the sidewalk, sitting down, and lowering my voice.