I walked up the front stairs grudgingly. Very grudgingly. It was yet another anxiety and stress filled school day.
I couldn't really decide which was worse between the school days and the weekends anymore. There really was no difference between the two, we woke up at about the same time, but the weekends were probably worse, because my anxiety rate was a lot higher from having Ms around.
To me, there was nothing more stressful than waking up in the mornings. The only thing I felt like doing right after getting off my bed was getting in again, the first thing I wanted to do when waking up from sleep was going back to sleep. A little more sleep after a deep sleep always hit different. Here in the hostel, it was just like, I closed my eyes for a minute and boom the next minute was up time. It felt that way everytime and every other day came with a bigger doze of fatigue and crave for more sleep.
Recently, I had seriously began considering laying in my bed when it was time for the morning prayers. Whilst everyone else was downstairs praying, I'd be upstairs in my bed, having my good little sleep. The idea sounded ideal, there'd be no need of anxiously jumping off my bed as soon as the veranda lights got turned on. The little sleep I would get from missing the prayers would go a really long way. But then again, the risks attached were far too much to take. I could vividly imagine Ms calling on me to lead the morning prayers the exact same day I decided to sleep in, and then I'd be no where to be found. I would probably not live to tell my story.
I wondered if anyone else had considered the idea before, but with the way they all jumped from their beds as soon as the veranda lights got turned on, as though they were so excited to begin a new day..
A new day in hell.
I practically rushed towards my bed, after the morning prayers downstairs, fell on my knees next to it and laid my head on it. Everyone was busy racing and scurrying around their morning's business and here I was kneeling next to my bed, my head laid on it and feeling as pathetic as ever. Todays depression would be severe, I could feel it.
I made sure to keep my eyes on the veranda through the room windows, just incase Ms happened to be walk past or come in, I'd kneel upright quickly, and pretend to have been busy dressing my bed.
I just couldn't bear waking up, and rushing downstairs immediately without having a little brain boot anymore. We practically just woke up, flew from our beds and rushed downstairs without thinking every morning, mass days excluded. I strongly believed that everyone had the right to sit down and think a little after waking, it was meditative and relaxing. Not a luxury, just more of a necessity to maintain sanity. I suspected someone would go crazy one of these days.
Myself most probably.
I sighed deeply, grudgingly getting up from the floor. I hastily made my bed before walking up to the wall arch separating Apartment B and C. All room members buckets were neatly stacked by the wall there, I took mine and rushed out of the room. No time for dulling!
I peeped into the big bathroom as I got to end of the veranda, just to know if Sochi was done bathing. She wasn't. But I knew she'd be in no time.
Our plan had been going fairly well so far, even though it was somewhat on and off. The plan, which wasn't exactly a plan, was that, we worked together to be as fast as possible in getting into the bathroom every morning and afternoon and if any of us happened to get in first, the other was automatically after. Sochi happened to be the first one most times or better still all the time. I just didn't see myself racing to get into the bathroom, it wasn't something I could do, except I really put my mind to it and I felt it was a really silly thing to put my mind to. Luckily for me, Sochi, didn't seem to mind my lack of effort.
