Once Again for Old Time's Sake

Chapter 12 - Down the Drain

STEVE-

My skin itched as though I was covered with flies or something moved between the skin and muscles. I reached for my phone. Reading the last few texts, I knew why I saw afternoon sunlight streaming through my living room. Rubbing the grit from my eyes, I looked up at the glass table top and saw the empty small baggie. Years down the fucking drain. Years.

Right now, I needed to get up and try to make it to the shower. I've already pissed this day away, fortunately I'm the boss. My phone lit up and the ringtone sounded shrill but far away. I can't deal with this right now. I let it go to voicemail.

Rolling to my stomach, I lifted up so my chest flopped on the cushions of the couch. If I had had any sense, I would have stayed there instead of the floor. My body hinted at the pain I would be feeling as I came down.

The envelope was discarded on the throw pillow. The note and coin inside taunted me. I remembered that much about the day before, or was it two days ago?

'Thanks for helping me find her, again. Tsk tsk tsk. Stay away from my toys. ~Anon'

I was the reason the stalker found Carmen. I don't know how or what I've done to help the son of a bitch. I'm fucked up and fucked over, again. Did I mention YEARS down the fucking drain?

I finished hauling my ass off the floor and twisted onto the couch. Leaning forward, I hung my head in my hands, elbows pressing into my knees. Waves of nausea swirled as I continued floating. I caught sight of a pill embedded into the carpet. With unsteady movements, I plucked it up before putting it into the baggie.

My clothes were making me hot and they itched where the fabric grazed my body hair. I pulled off my shirt halfway, leaving it hanging around my neck, and forced myself to stumble down the hall to the bathroom. I turned on the shower and collapsed onto the tiled floor, still fully dressed. The water was cold and I needed it to shock my body back to life. My nerves felt jacked up.

Fisting the neck of my t-shirt, I pulled it off over my head and let it hit the floor. The sodden thud made me laugh though it wasn't funny. I couldn't stop the mania building. I punched the shower wall and broke two tiles with my fist, ending the crazy laughing fit. The warm blood dripping off my knuckles cooled quickly, thinning as it snaked onto the floor and swirled the drain. The trails from each droplet were hypnotic but the pain forced me to stop watching them.

I wrestled my soaked sweatpants and boxers off as the water sluiced off my back, dripping off my hair as I leaned forward. Reaching up, I finally turned the faucet to warm. I hoped the shower would help me come to my senses but I had a long way till I was sober. Grabbing the bar of Irish Spring, I washed haphazardly, more as a rote thing to do rather than concentrating on getting cleaned.

Failing miserably, I shut the water down and stepped out, still dripping. I left my wet clothes on the floor and grabbed the first towel I came to as a temporary bandage. I stumbled into the bedroom and collapsed backward on my bed. Staring at the ceiling, I watched it pulsing as if it mimicked my own breathing. The ceiling fan cast shadows that moved with the sun's progress through the afternoon sky.

I woke several hours later, bleary eyed, coming down, and parched. I stumbled back into the kitchen, not dressing as I lived alone. Grabbing a drink, I made my way over to the table where I'd left my phone earlier.

Glancing at the messages, I saw a group chat with Carmen. She was confirming the plans for this coming weekend. It was the weekend of the Fourth and we were heading to her home to meet her family. The guys were bringing their kids and the plan was to camp out. I couldn't wait to see her again. It had only been a couple weeks since she had passed out, but now that she was back in our lives, I didn't want to waste a moment of it.