The deepest part of my soul

Chapter 14

The weather wasn't warm, but the sunlight reached our faces and hands. It couldn't touch any other parts of us because we were dressed from head to toe. An icy wind was blowing and I would never have thought I would come outside since I am a houseplant and I don't really like the cold, but Ailish wanted to have a picnic regardless of the weather. I didn't want to disappoint her. Again.

We lay on our backs, looking up at the sky while munching on some fruit. Mother was in the kitchen making sandwiches and said she needed to make a phone call before she came out.

„What is love like?" She asked lightly, observing the sky. I froze and not because of the wind. You are asking the wrong person, my dear sister. Everything I know is from books.

„Strange." I said the first thing that came to mind.

„Strange?" She asked back in surprise.

„And... And dangerous." I added, not feeling like I was getting any closer to the right answer.

„Dangerous?" This time she seemed to doubt it.

„Do you have to repeat everything I say?" I snapped at her annoyed even though I didn't want to. It's not her fault that I feel cornered by this question and I don't know the answer.

„I only do it because I don't understand how love can be strange or dangerous." She explained. Sometimes I feel like she is more emotionally mature than I am.

„It's weird because people fall into its trap over and over again."

„Then it's not the love that is strange it's the people." She argued with me. „And stupid." She muttered and I couldn't hold back a smile. Maybe both are true.

„And dangerous too." I continued my previous thoughts. „Dangerous because it makes people do reckless and dumb things." I wonder how convincing was I? After all, I have no idea what I'm talking about.

„My opinion remains unchanged. People are dangerous idiots and love has nothing to do with it. And don't, don't smile at me like you have a lot more experience than me and look down on me for my thoughts or my perspective."

„You are a weird kid, that's for sure." I said with all the love I had as I got on my elbow to see her better. „How did you come up with such a thing?"

„I was thinking about whether to risk love or not. What do you think?" She looked at me curiously.

„What?" I was absolutely flabbergasted. „You are too young for it." She is my baby sister. She raised an eyebrow and I sighed. She always did it more effectively than I did. „I mean, not for love, because age doesn't matter there. I think people can fall in love whether they are five or ninety-five. But a relationship... It can be difficult and problematic." Said I, the layman. „I don't think you are old enough for one."

„Then what is the right age? Thirty?" Great! My little sister mocking me.

„And I don't think love is something you can decide to feel or not." I shrugged.

„Maybe you are right." She said without any enthusiasm. She didn't like to agree with me. „There is a boy... He is nice." It was as if she was searching for the right words. „I don't know whether to risk it or not."

„To risk? What would you risk?" I was at a loss.

„My heart." She answered simply.

„But you are still kids!" I almost shouted.

„And children's hearts can't be broken?" She asked like I was stupid. But of course, she is right. A child's heart can be broken just like an adult's. Irreversibly.