Deal With the Devil: A Lloyd Hansen Story

XXI

I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing. I groaned and moved to grab it, but I felt a body underneath me.

Lloyd was up and watching a movie. I rested my head back down and let the phone ring.

"It's your brother."

I sighed and lifted my head to answer it.

"Hello?"

My voice was groggy. I had a fairly raspy voice but this was bad.

"Are you okay?" Josh asked.

"I'm fine." I whispered. "I'm just tired."

"Okay. Just wanted to check. Call me if you need anything."

"Okay. Love you."

"Love you too."

Lloyd was rubbing my back. I just leaned into him.

"Do you need anything?" He asked.

"No." I whispered.

"You're allowed to still be mad."

"Lloyd I'm furious with you. But I'm just trying to feel better." I whispered.

He rested back more.

I sat up. "I feel betrayed more than anything. You fucked what we had going."

"I know." He whispered.

"I could've sworn for a bit that I actually felt loved."

"I do love you."

"Obviously you don't. Someone who loves me wouldn't do this."

"Vanessa."

"Lloyd. You fucked up. Just move on."

"Well I'm not gonna move on when you're all pissed at me."

"Then you won't be moving on for a while I guess."

He sighed and sat up. "Look I didn't mean for you to get- I was trying to protect you."

He suddenly started getting shaky. I looked up at him. He had tears in his eyes.

"Are you crying?" I asked. He pushed me off and slammed the bathroom door shut.

"Lloyd."

"Just fuck off vanessa."

The door was locked. I went and grabbed a Bobby pin and picked it.

I opened the door to see him on the counter, crying.

"Why are you crying over this?"

"I just killed my dad and almost fucked up my relationship in the same day. I killed my wife's parents with her brothers. Why do you think I'm fucking crying? Are you allowed to cry but I'm not?"

"I didn't mean it like that."

"Look. I understand that you're pissed at me. I deserve it. But...but I had good intentions."

"You made a mistake. You're gonna have to understand that."

"I fucking get that!" He sobbed.

"You're acting like a child."

"And you weren't? I'm allowed to have emotions too." He cried.

"Okay." I said. I got between his legs and pulled him into a hug.

He sobbed into my shoulder. I hesitated but hugged him tighter. He rubbed my back softly.

"I'm sorry. What can I do?"