Misadventure

30

Louis' POV

I stared at the empty bottles under my bed, debating whether or not to throw them out.

The problem was, as much as I wanted to get sober, I still doubted my ability to do so long term.

It seemed inevitable that I would fuck up and drink at some point. And if I got rid of the bottles now, then when new empty started piling up it would stand out like a sore thumb. I didn't want Zayn to think I was a failure.

My phone dinged.

It was a text from Will.

Party tonight at my London house. You'll be there right?"

My first reaction was to roll my eyes. College students weren't supposed to have houses. They were supposed to sleep in dorms and cry themselves to sleep, and eat those shitty, cheap, oodles o' noodles that came in a styrofoam cup with enough sodium to cause a stroke.

If you were 19 and had to specify which of your multiple houses a party would be at, you were a twat in my book.

The thing was, a week ago I wouldn't have even had to think about how to respond. I would have immediately texted back that I would be there, and that he should probably buy extra liquor.

I left the text on read for now. I tugged at my hair. Then I stared at the wall. Then at the clock. Then taking a deep breath, I scrolled through my contacts and dialed my mother.

It only rang for a few seconds before she answered, sounding pleasantly surprised. "Hi my Boobear. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's fine, um. Actually, I was calling cause... Well, I was thinking about coming home this weekend."

"Really? Is everything okay?" She asked for the second time.

Was I really that bad of a person now, that calling my own mother was out of the blue enough to make her think something was wrong?

"I'm going to try to make a doctor's appointment for Friday. Figured I might as well visit while I'm in Eastbourne."

I dreaded her next question, even though I knew what was coming.

"What's the appointment for?"

"The flu." I swallowed around the lump in my throat. "It's been bothering me for a little while. And I tried to tell myself it was no big deal. Cause you know, a lot of people... get the flu. But I'm tired of it, and I'm tired of always feeling like this. It's been affecting my schoolwork. And relationships-"

My voice cracked.

I started to choke up, and I had to blink away tears. "It's hard to make time for people that matter when you feel really sick all the time."

"We'd be happy to have you. The girls were just saying how much they missed you."

"I miss them too," I said. "I'll start towards Eastbourne after class, but I'm not sure how long the drive will take. Did you get snow in London too?"

"A little, but it not enough to stick. I think my sunflowers are toast, though. This might be the last year I plant them," she told me. "Drive slow okay?"

"Will do. I love you."

"Okay, see you soon."

Zayn had entered just in time to catch the end of the conversation. He was already pulling a Dixie cup out from under the sink. "If you're going to drink anything, you better do it now. That way it'll be out of your system this evening."

"Yeah. You're right," I answered.

He poured a measly amount of vodka into the paper cup and walked it over to me. I threw it back without even wincing. By now I was used to the burning feeling in my throat.