Misadventure

28

Louis' POV

I felt awkward and out of place as I walked into the lecture hall. It was a large, red room, with theatre style seats facing the projector board. It smelled like a cocktail of somebody's cheap body spray, mixed with fresh paper and printer ink.

Despite my efforts to keep my head down, some of the other students were staring. I certainly didn't miss the look of surprise on the professor's face when she saw that I'd showed up for once.

I sat hidden in the very back row. I pulled out a pen and a blank notebook that I'd bought back at the start of the semester, then placed my backpack on the floor under my seat.

I had to squint to see the words projected on the board. Nothing made sense, as I'd missed so many days of class already, but I pushed that thought aside for now and focused on trying to take the best notes I could.

It was a two hour lecture. Around the one hour mark I started to feel really lightheaded. My hands were shaking to the point that I could no longer write. I knew what these symptoms meant, and found myself growing increasingly frustrated by them.

I put on my backpack, cursing silently under my breath. I got up and excused myself through the side door, crossing the hall and locking myself in the restroom.

Upon unzipping my bag, I discovered I was out of pain pills. Fucking hell. I'd have to visit Will later. In the meantime, I pulled out a needle, spoon and lighter.

I pulled out my phone and sent a text to Will.

Think you could help me out later?

The reply came almost instantly.

Yeah, mate. I've missed you. Pills or heroin this time?

I responded first with:

Pills.

But after thinking for moment, I sent a second text:

Actually both if it's doable.

He sent me a thumbs up emoji, and I tucked my phone away.

I returned to the lecture hall feeling blissfully spaced out, collapsing into my seat. It was impossible to focus the rest of the period. I felt hot and flushed all over, and my head was a thousand miles away, somewhere lost in the clouds. Towards the end, I was struggling to keep my eyes open.

Why did the building have to be so warm? Did whoever set the thermostat give any consideration to the fact that there would be students who needed to stay awake? The cushioned seats and lack of light were bad enough. Was it really necessary to have the temperature resemble a summer nap on the beach?

****

"Louis Tomlinson?"

I woke to Mrs. Ramirez giving my shoulders a rough shake. It took me a second to gather my bearings and realize where I was. The surrounding chairs were now empty of all other students.

"The lecture is over. You need to leave so the janitor can do the floors," she told me, frowning.

"Erm, my bad." I stumbled towards the door feeling weighed down by humiliation and shame.

"Louis," She called out, and I turned around. She held up my backpack. "You forgot this."

"Right. Sorry."

"It was nice to see you show up for once. Maybe your next goal can be to show up and stay awake the whole time."

I pretended not to hear her. My stomach sank as I hurried outside. This backfired. Why did I even try? I was too much of a fuck up, and there was no way I could catch up in my classes now.