Blueberry Muffins // Bang Chan x female identifying reader (read description!!)

Chapter 28 - Insecurities

We start working on our new song in the studio. I'm sitting on the desk editing the recordings with Changbin, giving instructions and suggestions to Felix who is in the recording room. I keep zoning out and letting Changbin take the lead on things.

I can't get Y/N out of my head, mainly, the things we did last night. The sounds we made and the sensations we shared. I can't stop thinking of her body, her sweaty slicked back hair and her seductive voice. I played it over and over again in my mind.

"Mate!!" Felix startles me. It looks like him and Changbin have been calling me for a while.

Felix grows a dirty smile on his face.

"Were you thinking of her?" he saw right through me.

"Of course he was, there's no turning back once they're connected, right?" Changbin pushed me playfully.

Both of them laughed and I couldn't help but smile, embarassed. Changbin put his hand on my shoulder.

"You told us she was going to think about auditioning, right?"

"Yeah, but she's still insecure. She isn't very confident about her body type, she's scared she won't be accepted because of it."

"Well," Felix looked at me throught the glass "From what you told us about her, she's got an amazing personality, and that's the first thing JYP judges! Appearance comes last."

"I know, but I know what she'll say 'Maybe so, but he still judges aprearance'."

Changbin scoffed "Even so, I've seen her, it's not a concern she should have."

"Yeah, she's like, really pretty." Felix smiled widely.

I smile, thinking of her "She is, isn't she?"

"Yeah!" Changbin nodded "Her only problem in that category might be the weight limit, which is like, skinny." he rolled his eyes.

"Oh no!" I turn to Changbin "Her belly rolls!!!"

Changbin and Felix laughed and Binnie leaned on the table "You like them??"

"They're so charismatic!!" I put my hands on my face.

"Say goodbye to them, then. Willingly or not, she will lose them, wether it's during the training for the audition, or in her diet after she gets in." Felix shrugged

I grumble as I hid my face in my hands. That will be the worst part of her becoming an idol. I hope she doesn't lose her belly rolls and her thick thighs, they're my favourite parts of her body.

"Or maybe not!" Changbin pitched "We never know."

"I hope not!" I cross my arms and we giggle, later going back to work.

Y/N'S POV

I got in the shower, cleaning away the smell of sweat that my body had. As much as I adored making love with Chan, I still couldn't keep negative thoughts away. What if he didn't really enjoy it? What if he got grossed out by my thighs, or my belly rolls and he didn't get the guts to tell me? What if I'm not a good kisser? What if? What if? What if??

I looked down at the water drip down on my body. I shook my head and tried to ignore it. I had an amazing time, these throughts couldn't be true, could they?

After I turned off the water, I got off the shower and wrapped my body in the towel. I looked at myself in the mirror, and I remember all the parts of me that Chan touched, making me feel good and even sexy. His eyes begged for me everytime I looked at them, and his warm lips kissing my skin. I couldn't help but smile when I reheard his grunts in my ear, his soft voice when he waited for my consent.

It was wonderful.

I dry my hair and do my skincare routine. I pick some clothes, choosing Chan's hoodie, of course. Max was waiting for our instant noodles to be ready. I walked into the kitchen and met her there.

"So fresh!" She smirks.

I chuckle and sit down. Max frowns.

"Hey? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just... I really like Chan."

"Who doesn't?"

"True, but, I don't know. I get insecure sometimes. I question if I'm good enough for him."

Max sat down next to me "What do you mean?"

"I sometimes wonder if he didn't have the heart to tell me that he didn't like what we did last night, or that he got grossed out my my body."

She cupped my face in her hands "Hey, no. Think this instead: Did he ever show any signs that any of that could be true?"

I hesitate, then mumble "Not really..."

"Then you're overthinking!"

"I am?"

"Yes! There's no way he feels like that. Did you see his message??? You could almost hear him saying that 'babygirl'!"

I smile squishing my cheeks in her hands. She giggles.

"If you still feel insecure, just ask him. I'm sure it's going to be alright."

I nod. I feel like I can really be honest with Chris, tell him how I feel, let him in. Maybe I'll talk to him.

The timer rings, meaning the noodles are ready. Max pops up from her chair and hops to them. I feel better now. Talking to Max has always worked when I felt like that. I'm happy she's by my side. She brings the noodles to the table and sits next to me again.

"And plus, you'll know for sure that he's SUPER attracted to you when you both go to the gym this week."

I hide my face in my hands "Shut up!!"

"It's true though! He won't be able to focus on anything else..."

We laugh and joked around while we ate lunch.