FallOut (BOOK 2)

-06-

I still recall the taste of your tears
Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears
My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore
Scraping through my head 'til I don't want to sleep anymore

You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I'm down to just one thing
And I'm starting to scare myself
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I just want something
I just want something I can never have

You always were the one to show me how
Back then I couldn't do the things that I can do now
This thing is slowly taking me apart
Grey would be the color if I had a heart
Come on and tell me!

You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I'm down to just one thing
And I'm starting to scare myself
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I just want something
I just want something I can never have

In this place, it seems like such a shame
Though it all looks different now, I know it's still the same
Everywhere I look you're all I see
Just a fading fucking reminder of who I used to be
Come on, tell me!

You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I'm down to just one thing
And I'm starting to scare myself
You make this all go away
You make it all go away
I just want something
I just want something I can never have
I just want something I can never have

-Something I Can Never Have-Nine Inch Nails-1989-

-ALICE-

"She's right," I tell Greg. "I should have been stronger.

"This has been hard for you," he reasons. "Wasn't it the same for her in Iraq?"

"Yes, but...she faced it head-on," I tell him. "And it's not the same. I asked the team to come here but they ended up in that place alone...Blackwood nearly killed one of them. I don't blame her for being angry. When she joined the Men of Letters, she told me that I didn't need to give her a new identity. She changed it herself when she ran away from home...she didn't have anyone aside from her unit. She's like a daughter to me, and I betrayed her trust. I should have told her that I'm having trouble with this, and we could have come up with something that kept Jason or anyone else out of harm's way!"

"...That's valid," Greg says, nodding slowly as he absorbs what I've told him. "Jayda's reaction makes sense now...look, we can't let this go on any longer than it has. Blackwood Mountain has been cursed for so long. People are still suffering from the effects of that asylum. We had to kill another horde of Wendigos. Members of your team are attached to this place, and it could affect them, too. We're not alone in this. Not anymore."

"You're right," I concede. "I can't let this come between us. It's a hard, thankless, and traumatic job, but we signed up for it. This is what we do, and we have innocent people to save."

"Where do you want to start?" Greg asks.

"I need to interview Sarah," I decided. "Is she still in the hospital?"