IF ONLY THERE WAS A SECOND CHANCE

Chapter 4: searching for the truth

        
       Derick was ashamed of himself when he heard Lia's past from Michelle.

   Michelle left after saying or scolding him for a very long time.

  Whereas Derick sat there contemplating his mistakes and regrets for a long time.

  The thoughts that went through his mind at the moment were all questions.

   "When did it start to get wrong? "

    " When did I start to ignore the little things that Lia did for me? "

   " Why did I doubt her? "

   " Why am I even alive? I should be the one in her place instead.... She suffer so much because of me.. "

  " Why did she love me?  I don't deserve her love... "

  These are all the questions that are in his head.

  After a while he stood up from his seat, pay the bill and left the cafe. As soon as he exit the cafe he searched for his assistant number on his phone and called him.

  The call was picked up by the other side after a few seconds and greet him in a monotonous voice that neither sounds too distant or too friendly, "Hello sir"

"Assistant Yan I need you to investigate something for me. Check who sent that mail to me 7months. Trace it from it's source and report to me tomorrow at any cost. You can used whatever things you need I'll reimburse you so find it at all cost", he order.

  " Yes sir", answered assistant Yan even though he's confused why his boss is investigating that now when he should have long ago.

   Assistant Yan has been working with  Derick for many years now so he know how much Lia's loves Derick but it seems as though Derick never realised how important she is until she's no more. Lia has always been kind to all the workers that she met including assistant Yan so he was really angry with his boss when he start to cheat on her with that white lotus but he couldn't say a word because it's his boss life.

   And now his boss suddenly asked him to investigated that mail that ruined the relationship between the boss and his wife, so he was surprised for a while before getting to work.

Derick drove back home but when he reached home the place doesn't feel like home anymore with Lia's gone.

   He went to his bedroom and searched for things that atleast have memories of Lia. He want to go to her funeral but he knew that he will not be able to set foot even in the compound.

   The funeral will be held tomorrow but he still planned to go even if he doesn't see her face for one last time at least he could accompany her from afar while they have the ceremony.

  So he searched and searched without knowing what he's searching for and finally get found an album that he didn't even know exist.

  He took the album and sat on the chair near the bed.

  He flipped it opened and the first page consist of two words, 'OUR MEMORIES'

He flipped to the next page and there was photos of them when they were in university. They were happy and naive at that time. They started dating at that time and in every photo Lia was smiling happily like she has received all the happiness in the world.

   The photos were kept according to their order;their first date, first birthdays together, their first trip and so on. They loved each other so much so what went wrong.
 
    As he continue to flipped more pages he found that the photos somehow end up only Lia's photo instead who celebrate every event on their life while he was too busy with his company.

   The photos had her very bright smile at the beginning but it seems her smile was no longer as bright as it was at the beginning when it reached the near end.

  He saw the picture of her celebrating their anniversary alone and her eyes seems to have some lingering tears that are to stubborn to fall but even so Lia still try her best to show her smile in the picture.

   He realised that he neglected her too much during their marriage and took her love for granted. His heart was in pain as if a thousand knife was stabbed many times. He cried and even so he keep on flipping the album to the next page.

   He glanced at the date on the album which shows that it was Nov 6 XXXX, his birthday but he was not there in the picture. The picture shows of a table with delicious food but there was only one person sitting there with her face down not even glancing at the camera when the picture was taken and the time was 11:58 pm.

   He realised that it was on his birthday that he start to cheat on her and he didn't go home that day because he was angry with her after he found many more pictures of her with his rival.

   He feel like he deserved all of this that is happening now because he is a scumbag. He feel this much pain now then he couldn't imagine how much pain Lia has bear till now because of him.

      He cried but no sounds come out and he finally flipped to the last picture and there was no more picture of Lia but only a picture of an ultrasound and the date was 2 months ago.
        If she had not fall in love with me then this wouldn't have happened. If she was with someone else then she would have a husband who loved her more than anything and would not doubt her and when she found out she was pregnant he would be there for her and not like him who left her all alone to fend for herself and didn't even know  her suffering.

   He feel suffocated especially when he remember the day they conceived the child was the day he hurt her the most and left her after hurting her. That day he called her a gold digging bitch and a traitor who deceived him and his love.

He cursed her saying that she doesn't deserve to be loved and she didn't say a word at that time. Her tears were flowing and she fought back when he tortured her physically but at some point he remember her face was pale and she no longer cried and allowed him to do whatever he want with her.

     Her eyes no longer have the light that she usually has but instead looks bleak as if she have no more hope in her life.

     What should have been a memorable love making but instead it was only like him forcing on her and torturing her.
    He regret it and his heart feel so suffocated. He beat his chest thinking that maybe he will not feel the pain in his heart but no matter how heart he beat this chest he couldn't feel it at all.

   At some point he  fell from the chair and he was on the ground feeling intense pain. After sometime he fell unconscious.