Sonorous Zeal [✓]

Kabanata 39

Stars will always be my favorite view. Even before, I was already fond of them. But seeing them right now seems like seeing them for the first time again. They enthralled me, and it felt like they were better than the stars I'd seen before.

I'm not sure if it's because I'm in a foreign country or because of the person beside me. My heart is hurting right now. It hurts because of happiness that I can't stretch my lips anymore.

I licked my lips and heaved a sigh. The concert was already done an hour ago. We must be sleeping right now. Ngunit hindi ko alam kung bakit parehas kaming narito sa lanai para tumingin sa iisang tanawin.

"Aren't you sleepy yet? Nakakapagod ang performance niyo," I almost whispered.

"I couldn't sleep..." he said slowly.

Kumurap ako at dahan-dahang bumaling sa kaniya. My heart thumped harshly when I found him staring at me closely. His eyes were solemn but delicate. The way he looks at me right now reminds me of the good days.

"Why?" 

I swallowed hard when he licked his lips and slowly devoured the remaining distance between us. Nagbaba ako ng tingin sa aming mga tsinelas at halos hindi makahinga nang dumapo ang kaniyang mga kamay sa aking baywang.

"Look at me," he seriously said.

Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kaniya. Namumungay ang kaniyang mga mata at halos hindi na maka-pokus. He wasn't drunk, but he looks like he drank a bottle of whiskey right now. Umawang ang mga labi ko nang matitigan ko ang bawat parte ng kaniyang mukha.

The serene surroundings focused me. His thick eyebrows never changed. His eyes.... the parts of him that I love the most are just getting better and better as he ages. His nose, jaw, and lips... everything about his face is mesmerizing.

My eyes heated as I gave him a faint smile. I saw how his eyes closed a bit when my palm touched his face. I caressed his rough jaw.

"I missed you, Conrad..." sambit ko sa nanginginig na boses.

Nangilid ang aking mga luha at paulit-ulit na hinaplos ang kaniyang panga habang nakatitig sa mga mata niyang namumungay. My feelings didn't change. They still feel raw while gazing into his eyes. He still gives me the solace I found in him. The feeling of seeing the stars by just looking at him.

"I'm... sorry." Huminga ako nang malalim at nagbaba ng tingin sa kaniyang leeg.

"For what?" namamaos niyang tanong.

I shut my eyes when the rivulets of tears fell on my cheeks. He heaved a sigh. I licked my lips and pushed myself to look into his eyes. Namumula na ang mga ito at kita ko ang mga luhang unti-unting namumuo.

"Hindi d—dapat kita iniwan... I'm so sorry. I should've stayed with you. Kailangan mo ako pero umalis ako." Wika ko at napatungo nang masundan iyon ng hikbi.

My sobs exacerbated when he pulled me to his chest. Yumakap ako sa kaniya nang mahigpit at mariing pumikit. Nanginig ang aking mga balikat.

"I shouldn't have m—made you feel that you were not enough. Hindi ganoon iyon..." Hikbi ko at tiningala siya.

Kunot na kunot na ngayon ang kaniyang noo at pula ang mga mata. Umiling ako.

"Hindi ka naging kulang sa akin. Sobra ka pa... I didn't intend to make you feel like that." I said softly while shaking my head.

"I know that you love me, Azul," he said huskily.

I bit my lip. His delicate eyes went to my cheeks. Halos mapapikit ako nang marahan niyang pinalis ang aking mga luha. His Adam's apple moved after his violent swallow.