Gambling with My Fuckin Life

Kill Yourself PT III

Des sobbed with her face buried in her knees. She failed. She fucking failed.
The pill Ruby had given her early was just enough to fight off the sickness...not to get her high. She stared at the straw and cellophane in her hands.
"Fuck it." She popped two into her straw and chewed like she'd never chewed before. The moment the blue dust hit the back of her sinuses, all her problems disappeared.
Des stood up and staggered to her couch. She plopped down onto the purple fabric and began to nod. All of her mistakes swirled around in her head, but none of them seemed to matter anymore; matter of fact, everything went black and she wasn't thinking of anything anymore.
By the time Des had woken up from her blue coma, it was already the next morning. Birds chirping and shit.
"Goddamn.." Des said aloud as she peeled her body off of the couch. She sat up and immediately pulled out a pill and her straw. Des chewed with her mind on the men next door. She sniffed and quickly put everything in her boot, she walked to the front door and opened it. She hadn't even taken a good look at the neighborhood she'd been living in for over a week. All the houses looked the same, just different colors, peeling paint and brown grass. There were people on their porches, people washing their cars, cars pulling up to men standing on the sidewalk and then driving off.
She turned her attention to the house directly across from her, Ruby and his roommate were on the porch smoking a blunt again.
Des took one more look around the neighborhood, contemplating whether she should invite herself over. Ruby did say come by anytime.
"Just go over there, Des," she thought to herself, " you're fucking stuck now."
One foot in front of the other Des awkwardly walked across the street and to the front steps of her neighbors house.
"Lil D!" Ruby said as he smiled at her. "Come on up!" He stretched out his arm to offer his blunt to her.
"Thanks," Des said as she accepted the blunt, "was kinda bored, thought I'd see what y'all were up to.."
She looked over at the tattooed stranger from the bus, he grinned his gold teeth at her and put up his sunglasses to reveal his eyes.
""This is my cousin, Scrim." Ruby said.
Scrim reached his hand out to shake hers, "But you can call me Scott, if ya want..lil D."
Des quickly shook his hand, "it's Des, but hi." She passed him the blunt.
"I remember you from the bus 'bout a week ago, was wondering when you was gunna be polite and come introduce ya self," Scrim said still grinning.
Des felt her face flush, "Yeah, sorry, I'm not good with people sometimes."
Scrim chuckled, " Yeah I'm not good with people either when I ain't got a fix."
Des glared at Ruby.
"Chill shawty," Ruby said, "it's all good. He's my cousin."
"Right." Des said as she accepted another turn on the blunt.
Scrim laughed, "But yeah, um, anyways, where you from?"
Des blew out smoke and handed the blunt to scrim. "Detroit..Michigan." Des answered.
Scrim inhaled smoke, "That's a long way, what the fuck you doin here?" He asked.
Des looked down at her boots, "I don't know, really...just trying to find somewhere to.."
"Run away to?" Ruby interrupted.
"Yeah..something like that." Des answered sharply.
Scrims laughed roared, "shiiitt we all running from something, if ya know what I'm sayinnn!"
Des chuckled, this asshole was kinda funny, but for some reason, she didn't trust him...at all. She didn't trust Ruby either, but she really didn't trust his cousin.
"You hungry?" Ruby asked Des.
She honestly couldn't remember when she last ate actual food. "Yeah, a little kind of I guess." Des responded.
"Cool," Ruby said standing up, "we got a cookout planned tonight, having a few friends over. Why don't you come back over around 6?"
"Ok yea," Des said shaking her head, "I'll be back over at 6 then, thanks."
Des turned to walk down the steps, hearing Scrim calling behind her: "See you soon, there, lil D!"