Narcissistic,My God,I Love it

EIGHT

It was a Saturday and these past few days I was not in my usual self at hindi ko alam kung bakit. I'm so down that it bothered me kaya napag-isipan pumunta sa school's library which is open on weekdays so that I can borrow some books to read for my mind to get busy.

I entered the large library that it can cater a lot of students. I went to where the novels are kept and as I was scanning through the aisles I saw a guy na naka sandal ang ulo sa table and you can obviously see na  nakatulog lang siya. That guy was very recognizable to me that my feet automatically walked on it's own to get near  him. I stood next to him at tinitigan ko yung mukha niyang mabuti it was like a perfect realistic painting that represents sweetness and innocence. My hands moved towards his face wanting to caressed it.

(WHat?! What?! What? What was I supposed to do?! I, a perfect girl like me, was going to do something to an unpopular guy like him! I might  be crazy )

before I could do anything that's beyond my principle I first went to the bathroom because I need to retouch my face and be more presentable. After that I went back to where North is, in case nagising na siya but to my surprise I saw Cecille there sitting opposite to him at nagbabasa siya ng libro. I was speechless, Cecille's eyes shifted to where I am when she felt my stare. 

My lips automatically formed a smile and Cecille smiled at me too.

(Smile Aerin, just smile. You're perfect and nice)

"Aerin. Hi, what brings you here?" and with that statement North just suddenly woke up.

(Seriously asking me an obvious question? Why else would I be here if not to read books)

His mind is not there yet nung tumingin siya sa akin

"Ah wala lang just need to borrow some novels" I said and tried to be cheerful

"Ahhh okay" She nodded but I can see some suspicion in her

"Ah North can you see if this can be something useful" She went near North and showed him the the page of what she's talking about and with North's sleepy state he just automatically shifted  his gaze sa sinasabi ni Cecille and scanning it.

"Yeah just take a note on it" He said in a boring tone and when his mind was already there he shifted hastily his gaze sa akin.

"I guess I leave you two be, I still need to look for  more books" I smiled awkwardly then turned around not looking back 

(North what's this effect that you've got on me? Why am I the one suffering when all my life I've been pampered by all the guys around me. Do I seriously legitimately like him???)

(It's hard to say the truth Aerin but let's stop fooling ourselves now, you're smart and let's just approve of the fact that you like him)

(Enough is enough, you need to accept reality. You're so done, you're so doomed to even like him)

I walked slowly scanning through the aisles but I wasn't really looking at any of them I was just letting time pass. I zoned out walking that I bumped into North

"Sorry" I said it instinctively but he just grabbed both ends of my shoulder

"You've been circling this aisle for a few times already, is there something wrong?" He asked and I can see how sincerely he meant it.

Those look that he's presenting is the reason why I'm being like this

"i'M FINE, bakit ba?!" I said in an annoyed boring tone which is like the first time that I acted out in front of him also in public and it stunned him

(Oh my gosh Aerin! Your perfect image, your beautiful face, your niceness where did it all go?)

I realized what I just did and snapped back at it

"-Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I'm just not feeling myself today" I said with utmost sincerity

"If you're having any problem you can just talk to me, . . . .okay? I feel like you're being indifferent these past few days" He said with a determined eyes looking at me waiting for me to say something

(Why do I feel like you're just feeling pity for me that's why you're concerned North.)

I smiled widely and scrunched my face

"Wala lang to promise" I acted a smile 

"That's good then, and stop walking aimlessly I'm worried you might bump into something " he said in relief  then left me

It felt like I came back from the dead when I realized what he said

(He's worried about me!?)

I was standing there for a few moments processing just about everything

"Psst"

"Pssst"

I look at where it is coming from

It's Cecille.

"Usap tayo sa rooftop" she said and there's no harm in following that's why I went

(You're not following anyone's order Aerin you're just being nice and polite)

"Bakit mo ko pinapunta dito Cecille?" I asked her

"Do you really like him that much?" She asked in kinda teasing way which caught me off guard

"Huhhh? What? Me? That guy who's unpopular and boring?" I asked nervously while smiling stupidly

"What do you like  so much about him?" She asked not minding what I just said

"I like. . . .that he can see through me, that he is always there for me, that he just doesn't look at my---" I started straightly talking that I realized what I just gave away

My eyes widened from the shock

"You've really fallen for him" She said and chuckled

"Please stop! Don't make me realize I liked him." I covered my ears 

"Well, I don't care anyway but it's good to see you showing your real feelings, First time yata to na nakita kitang ganiyan"

"Every time I see you it feels like you're always suppressing it with those smiles" She said with a sincere smile that tells me that she's happy for me 

I looked down feeling embarrassed

"Anyways  there's nothing between me and him, it's just that I'm working with him kase kasama ko siya sa debate team and we are scanning through some books that can help us for our debate competition next month" She explained

(Di ko naman tinatanong eh. With my beauty there's no need to know but I'm open to explanations so . . . )

"Talaga?" I asked shyly in a low voice

"Oo nga kase wag kanang magselos" She said teasingly

"besides I already have a wonderful boyfriend" then she smiled

(Aerin you better stop it! Don't ! Don't! Don't!)

"How does it feel . . . .  to like someone?" I asked with hesitation

(Ahhhh you're really doomed Aerin, now she knows you're weakness)

"It's the same as to what you feel with North, like is like, love is love, there's no meaning into it and there's no reading much into it, it's the feeling and emotions that matters" She was talking while looking at a distance and I can see there's pureness in her eyes

"Get what I mean?" She looked at me.

I bit my lips and nod my head a little.

"Now let's go eat lunch! Kanina pa ako gutom" 

I had no time to react she already locked her arms in mine and then dragged me down.